Between Us
by Becca Bing
Summary: M&C are a little older, a bit more cynical, and heartbroken. The best medicine may be each other...so what's keeping them apart? Ch. 11 (final chap) now up!
1. This Cold Street

**Between Us**~Chapter 1~**This Cold Street**

_I'm back with something new! Sound the trumpets and beat the drums 'cuz Becca has made yet another creative breakthrough! Ok, maybe not a breakthrough…I just hope that it's all right. Hmm…I can't give much background right now, b/c most will be revealed in the upcoming chapters, but this is, of course, a Chandler and Monica fic. (come on, did u really expect anything else from me?) Chandler's 40, and Monica's 39 in this…to read this, u have to know that Mon and Chandler did sleep together in London, but left it as a one-night stand, only. Hmm…I guess that's really all I can reveal right now. Hopefully, questions will be answered in this upcoming 2 or maybe 3 chappies, but if not, u can ask me. Knowing me, I probably forgot something. All righty then, let's get down to business. Please read and review—hopefully this will be worth continuing, but still, I need to know what u, as the reader, think. Ok, chapter 1…_

**Disclaimer: **Do I own them? Now, that is a very good question. Do I…do I own them? (pause) noooo. 

Monica maneuvered her way through the snow-covered streets of Boston with determination burning in her hardened eyes. She tightened the scarf around her neck and rubbed her pink nose, as she hastily weaved through the people walking at steady paces ahead of her. Suddenly, she felt the traction underneath her disappear as she slid to the hard, cold street below her. She bit her lip in order to fight back tears and laid on her back for a moment, staring at the gray sky above her. 

"Hey lady!" a man called angrily as he stepped around her, "This ain't no bed!" 

Monica rose to her feet and brushed the snow off of her black coat. She shivered as her freshly soaked pants met the brisk, cold February air. Again, she started walking, this time being careful to keep her balance. She continued to shove through the crowds of people heading in all directions, and finally arrived at her destination. 

          She slipped into the restaurant and sighed as her body began to adjust to the warmth of the interior. She grabbed a tissue and whipped her numb, running nose, as she walked to the back. 

"Hey Monica," a blond haired woman behind the counter greeted cheerfully.

Monica merely groaned in response. 

"You know, you're supposed to actually take _off _your clothes before getting in the shower," the woman joked.

"Haha. What would I do without your advice, Leslie?"

Monica removed her coat, scarf, and hat, and hung them up on a hook. 

"I have no idea," she paused as she continued to stare at Monica with curiosity, "Ok, if it's not from the shower, then why are you soaking wet?"

"I slipped on the way here."

Leslie began laughing.

"It's not funny!"

She attempted to sober while wiping the tears of laughter from her eyes. "I'm sorry, Monica. It's just…you're so uptight and to see you lying on the street—" Leslie broke into another fit of giggles, and Monica rolled her eyes.  

"If you could be any more blunt..." 

"I'm sorry. Hey, lighten up!"

Monica rolled her eyes again and moved into the kitchen. 

After a moment, Leslie followed her into the kitchen and watched as Monica began setting up. 

"Can I _help_ you?" Monica asked, still aggravated due to her previous comment.

"I'm sorry if I've upset you." 

"No, it's all right. You're right; I should lighten up a bit. It's just all that's been going on—" 

Leslie cut her off and placed a sympathetic hand on her shoulder. "I know." 

"Sorry about this, I'll—"

"Don't apologize, Mon. That's what friends are for." 

Monica smiled. "Yeah, thanks. I really needed that." 

She went back to work, while Leslie continued to study her intently. 

"Monica?"

"Hmm?" Monica asked distractedly.

"Why are you still here?"

Monica scrunched her forehead in confusion. "I've only been here for five minutes. I have to stay 'till six."  

"That's not what I mean."

Monica looked up, the curiosity plainly written across her face. 

"Why are you still in Boston?"

Monica shrugged. "Where else would I go?"

"Go back to New York!"

"You want to get rid of me?" she chucked, "Am I _that _bad of a chef?" 

"No, but I know that you want to."

"No, I don't." 

"You don't want to see your old friends? Well, you could've fooled me. I mean you constantly rave about them."

Monica smiled at the memories, but then frowned. "That's not it."

"What's holding you back then?"

"I left them to get married. I don't think I parted on the best of terms. I mean I haven't spoken to any of them in three years!" 

"Then change that, Mon! I know that's what you want."

Monica shook her head. "It's not what I want." 

"Monica, you only moved here because of Steven. But now, you're divorced. There are no children involved, so why are you still here?"

Monica looked down at the counter in front of her intently as she ran her fingers along the tile hesitantly. "Honestly, I…I don't know."

"Then go back to New York." 

She shook her head. "It's not that easy."

Leslie sighed and turned away. "Right." 

"Thanks for the concern though."

Leslie nodded and left the kitchen. Monica then sighed, trying to keep Leslie's words out of her head. She wanted to go back in order to see her friends so badly, but fear of her past kept her from doing so. Instead, she focused on the equipment in front of her, allowing all thoughts to disappear as she concentrated on the task at hand.  

*~*~*~*

          That night, Monica rushed through the train station in order to catch her train. She sighed in relief when she saw that the train was still there, and darted through the doors, right before they closed. She forced her way through the rush hour crowd, finding a small area of the railing, which she could hold on to. She gripped the cold metal as the train jerked her back and forth. At one point, she accidentally knocked into a tall, middle-aged woman in front of her. The woman turned around and sneered at Monica. Monica raised her eyebrows in amusement, but kept silent. Instead, she turned her attention to the scene passing by her through the dirty windows. She watched as the trees and bushes streaked by, leaving only the sight of brown and green mixed together in a hasty blur. Finally, the train pulled up to her destination. She fought her way through the mass of people and finally found herself on the station's platform. She jogged up the stairs and left the station in a hurry. She continued her hasty pace for sometime, but then slowed down. She had nothing to rush home to, so what was the point of hurrying? 

Monica got to her apartment building and unlocked her silver mailbox. She grabbed the pile of mail, and began muttering to herself about bills. When she arrived at her small, one bedroom apartment, she threw the mail down on her coffee table, hung up her outer garments, and then grabbed a fleece blanket from her couch. She wrapped it around her body, and then walked into the kitchen. She filled a teapot with water and placed it on the stove. She then opened the cabinet above the stove and grabbed a box of herbal tea. After that, Monica sat down at the counter and leaned her head on her arms. After waiting for her tea to boil for twenty minutes, she looked up and realized that she had never actually turned on the stove.

"God damnit," she muttered as she turned the knob.

After that, she grabbed a light blue mug from another cabinet and flipped it over in order to study it. 

"Number three," she told herself as she placed it down on the cream-tiled counter. 

Once she poured the water into her mug and let the tea combine with the hot water, forming a golden brown liquid, she picked it up and brought it to her living room area. She settled down on the white couch and leaned her head back. She sat up to take a few sips of her tea, and then noticed her mail lying haphazardly on the table in front of her. Her instinct to tidy the mess caused her to sift through it quickly. However, a large, square envelope caught her attention. It was from New York. Her heart filled with hope and her stomach churned with anticipation, as she carefully separated the flap from the rest of the envelope. Monica grimaced at the brightly colored invitation that was inside and read the words written on it. A smile danced across her wind-chipped lips. She was going to visit New York! 

_Sorry that this chappie was short, but it's an intro…what do u want from me? Ok, and I've never been in Boston during the winter, so don't get mad at me if that's not realistic. Next chappie, find out what's up w/ our favorite Chandler. ;) Ok, I'm gonna go before I collapse of exhaustion…well I'm sitting down, so it's kinda hard to collapse… Please leave me a review. I need to know…should I continue? It's up to **YOU**. ;) _


	2. This Lonely Life

**Between Us**~Chapter 2~     **This** **Lonely Life**

_Oh no! I just finished my thing of pez! I have to refill it. It's Garfield! Hehe. Anyways, thanks for the great reviews and I'm gonna respond to some reviews cuz I always forget, but this time, I'm not gonna! First off, Steph, I **did **say tulip 10 times fast, but u know that already. 2nd, I knew that someone would tell me that 39/40 isn't old, but I didn't expect it so soon. I mean did I ever **say **that they were old? I said they were **older**, not old. Geeze, my parents are older than that and I know better than to call someone who's 40 old. Hehe doesn't go over so well. Now, just a warning, **the characters **might say that they're old, but I mean I know that people complain all the time about being 40. Come on, look at tow the all turn 30…and that's "10 years" before! Ok, CNZ (hehe that's ur nickname cuz I said so), I have had All the Things She Said stuck in my head all week and the one day it's not in my head, u swoop along and remind me of it!!:o Hehe thanks a lot! And last, but certainly not least, Yen—Boris says hi back and that she loooves you. Then she told me something about u two planning on murdering me and a guinea pig…what's that about? And everyone else, thanks for reviewing! *hugs reviewers* *pats readers that don't review on their heads* review and u get a hug! Anyways, here's chapter 2! (finally)_

**Disclaimer: **I don't own them. But, I own…an empty pez dispenser…perhaps I could barter? Well, I bet I could get Ross for the pez dispenser, but I'd rather have the dispenser.;) 

Chandler sat at his office desk, while playing space invaders on his computer. He had just bought a CD-ROM full of 80's arcade games and had spent half his day in work playing them. He did a good job of hiding the time that he spent slacking in the office. Well, either that, or nobody cared that he most of his time playing games or downloading porn. It had been that way for as long as he had worked there. Although he hated his job, it was a plus that he didn't need to work too hard. Still, he got the work done. Therefore, he couldn't feel too guilty for getting paid a hefty sum of money and having a high position in his job. Suddenly, there was a knock on his office door. Chandler quickly minimized his game and then maximized his office work, right before his door was opened. 

"Bing," a large gray-haired man demanded, "I need those numbers on my office at 3 PM sharp, ya hear me?" 

"Yes, sir. Right away, sir."

"Good." The man then left Chandler's office, even more quickly than he had arrived.  

"Damn rod up his ass," Chandler mumbled as he exited his game and went began to do his work.  

*~*~*~*

          Chandler entered his apartment and looked around. He saw Joey's packed boxes and sighed. He wished that Joey wasn't moving out. It was going to be so boring and lonely in his apartment, alone. He couldn't even remember the last time he had lived without Joey snoring loudly in the next room. 

"Hey man!" Joey greeted happily as he exited from his bedroom.

"Hey," Chandler replied in a less than excited manner. 

"I'll be like five minutes away."

"I know."

"You knew we weren't gonna to live together forever."

Chandler shrugged and looked at the floor.

"Why don't you just ask Jill to move in with you?"

Chandler chuckled. "I don't think so."

"Fine, fine. But remember, you don't _have_ to be alone."

"If I'm with Jill, it's almost as if I'm alone," Chandler admitted bitterly.

"Chandler, you should just end it with her then."

"Ehhh."

Joey shook his head. "Then don't complain to me."

"Hey, you brought it up!" 

Joey patted Chandler on the back. "I'm gonna miss this."

"Me too."

Joey and Chandler shared a hug. Then, Joey grabbed a box and headed towards the door.

"Dude, you just gonna stand there, or help me?"

Chandler put a hand on his back. "I dunno…I mean my back…" 

Joey laughed. "Old man."

"Oh, I know!" Chandler joked as he lifted a box and exaggerated a painful expression on his face. "I think I'm going to die." 

Joey laughed again and headed outside, while Chandler followed close behind him. 

*~*~*~*

          That night, Chandler tapped his foot on the floor of the fancy Italian restaurant, as he studied anything, except the face of the woman across from him.

"Chandler," she demanded crossly, "Will you _please _stop tapping your foot?!"

"Sorry."

Their salads arrived and they both sighed gratefully at the welcomed intrusion. They kept their eyes on their salads as they slowly picked at them with their forks. 

"So Jill," Chandler began, trying to break the tense silence, "How was your day."

"Fine."

"Thanks for the attempt at keeping a conversation."

She rolled her eyes and sighed. "You and your jokes." 

"Who said I was joking?"

"Will you just…be quiet?"

"Funny...I was just going to ask you the same th--."

Chandler was cut off by the loud shriek of her cell phone. 

Jill glared at him, took out her cell phone from her purse, and began talking. Chandler began to tap his foot once again, until Jill kicked him under the table.

"Oww, damnit!" he cursed as her sharp heal went into his shin. He threw an angry glance at Jill, who smiled complacently. 

"This is going to be a _long_ meal," he whispered to himself

He then turned his attention to the kitchen door, watching the waiters walk though it as it swung open and closed. Anything was better than having to look at his bitter girlfriend. 

          After dinner, Chandler and Jill shared a taxi back to their apartments. They sat in a tense silence, yet again. It seemed that was the only thing that they shared anymore. 

"You coming to my apartment tonight?" Chandler asked.

"You wish."

"We never sleep together anymore."

"It's not really all that much of a loss for me, considering it's…well…you…"

Chandler was taken aback by her insult. Although they bickered constantly, she had never thrown such a horrible taunt at him before. He quickly recoiled, feeling his self-esteem drop lower and lower by the second. Instead, he looked out the window, watching as the colorful city lights passed before his eyes. He then glanced at Jill through the corner of his eye, who was casually flirting with the cab driver, and sighed. He knew that he should just break up with her, yet he held onto the hope that things would improve between them. Besides, he was already 40 years old. He had to take what he could get on the dating scene, or he was sure that he would end up alone and even more miserable than he was already. The cab arrived at her apartment, and she gave Chandler a quick peck on the cheek, and then left the car. Chandler watched as she sashayed up to her apartment, and then entered the building, leaving him alone once again.

*~*~*~*

          When Chandler arrived at his apartment, he scanned the interior and felt a lump in his throat. Now, it was completely empty. Joey had finished moving his boxes out while Chandler was on his date. He sat down on his barkalounger, the brown leather weathered by age and stained by beer and chocolate. He found the remote and turned on the television. The news blared through his apartment and Chandler tried to concentrate, but had too much trouble doing so. Finally, frustrated with his vain attempts, he turned off the television, and leaned back in his chair. 

          He began drifting, when a call interrupted his light slumber. Groggily, he stumbled over to the phone that was resting on the counter, and answered it. 

"Hello?"

"Chandler? Were you asleep?" 

Chandler rubbed his eyes. "Mmhmm."

"Man, you gotta get out more."

"Shut up, Ross."

"I mean it's one thing for me, since I have a wife and kids, but you…"

"Rub it in, please."

"Come on, I'm just joking."

"Ya."

"You'll get that stuff sooner or later."

Chandler mumbled in response.

"Come on, you're Chandler. You don't want that stuff anyway."

"Yeah," Chandler agreed absently. 

"Anyway, man, are you okay? I mean since Jo--"

"Yeah, I'm fine." 

"You sure? You know there's always a place for you here. Emma and Jon love having their Uncle Chandler around."

"Thanks, but I'm good."

"All right." 

Chandler then heard a woman's voice in the background and Ross began to talk to her. 

Ross turned his attention back to Chandler. "Hey man, I gotta go. Rach has dinner ready."

"Wow, you guys eat late."

"Well, Rachel doesn't get home 'till six and—"

"Since when does Rachel cook?" 

"Yeah, she doesn't." he chuckled. "She just heated up a frozen dinner."

"Now that sounds more like Rachel."

"Yeah, well she never had to cook. I mean she lived with Monica for all those years."

Chandler in took a sharp breath at the mention of Monica's name. 

"Ya know, she was invited to the wedding."

"Really?" Chandler walked around the room curiously, "Is she gonna come?"

"I have no idea."

"I miss her," Chandler stated softly.

"We all do." 

"We should have been more supportive." 

Ross sighed. "Yeah, I know. I mean she's my sister." 

"Well, if she comes to the wedding, then we're not letting her leave on bad terms again, deal?"

"Deal."

Chandler heard Rachel yelling in the background and Ross trying to calm her.

"She really wants me to get to dinner. I'll talk to you later, man."

"Yeah, talk to you later. Say hi to Rach and the kids for me."

"You got it. Bye!"

"Bye," Chandler said sadly as he hung up. 

He looked around his empty apartment again and sighed. It was eerie to know that he and Joey would never be roommates again.

"Unless of course, they get divorced," Chandler said aloud, "But of course, if Ross can make a marriage work…" 

He began chuckling at his joke, but then sobered. "I'm talking to myself here! Damnit, I'm still doing." He hit his forehead with his hand, "Damnit!"  

He took one last look at the living room, noticing all that was missing from it, and groaned. Slowly, he headed for his bedroom and shut the door. Still, the door couldn't keep out the many memories that flooded his mind. 

*hugs Matty* Haha Yen, u got Matthew Smith, the copy guy!! *mumbles* stupid idiot. I've got Matty all to myself…muhahahaha-ha! Okeey, anyways anyshmays, to clarify, no that is not Jill from tow the blackout, nor is it Jill, as in Rach's sis. It is the Jill of the dark forest of my imagination. (ha, my imagination's more like an empty plain). There, Julie—better? Ok, don't expect me to usually update so soon, but I felt bad that chappie 1 was so short. Actually, I'm gonna be away next week (oh yeah, guess who has a life for once!!) so I have no idea when I'll update again. I mean w/ all the hw I'm gonna have to make up and…ahhh! Guess I'll see how much I have to do and if a lot of people review (hint, hint), and I'll consider updating before I leave. Ok, please leave me a review, thanks! 


	3. You've Been Missed

**Between Us**~Chapter 3~**You've Been Missed**

Hey my lovely readers, I am back!! The problem with waiting a week between updating is that I have so much to say in my a/n, but know that I shouldn't say it all. Of course, I almost always have something to say, as some of u may know.;) I've left some long-ass reviews, yo. (when I say yo, I remind myself of a guy in my chem. class…he says yo at the end of every sentence.) Umm…ok, this chappie will kind of deal a lot with Monica 'cuz, well, it just seemed to fit with her. Besides for that, just read without guidelines, my friends. Ok, and I'm going away this week, so I'm posting this right before I leave and hope to come home with a mailbox full of reviews and e-mails. (please!!!! Lol that's not so desperate…) I'm going to Washington DC till wed. night babie! (just in time for war *achem* not gonna voice my opinion 'cuz I don't feel like having another argument. That's what I get for complaining that my school friends are too dense for deep conversation. Ok, I bet no one got that, but yeah…) I'm gonna have a crapload of homework to make up. Ahhh! I'm already nervous. Ok, anyways anyshmays, I shall begin.

**Disclaimer: **Hmm…I got another pez DISPENSOR (lol I'm an idiot…I realized my mistake the morning after I posted) 'cuz my bro bought one for me and one for himself. It's Sylvester! I prefer that over Garfield, personally, 'cuz I'm a big loony toon fan.;) So, I definitely wouldn't trade my Sylvester for Ross. In otherwise, I don't own them, yo. 

The afternoon before the wedding, Joey, Ross, and Chandler stood in a hotel room in front of the full-length mirror. Ross and Chandler were dressed in black tuxedos, while Ross was tying Joey's white bowtie. 

"Wow, I cannot believe that you're getting married!" Ross enthused. 

"I know! Who would've thought that me, _Joseph Tribianni_, would settle down?" 

"It's more like who would've thought that a woman would actually _choose_ you?" Chandler quipped. 

"Thanks for that."

Chandler patted him on the back. "No problem."

"So," Ross asked, "Nervous?"

"God yes! I mean what if I'm doing the wrong thing?! What if I'm not supposed to get married?!" 

"Calm down, Joe. This was meant to be. Trust me, I've been through marriage and it _can _work." 

"Really?"

"Sure," Chandler tried, "I mean you two are so perfect for each other."

"Really?"

"Yes!" 

"Ok, I guess you guys are right."

"We are right." 

Joey smiled gratefully. "You guys are the best!" 

Chandler and Ross smiled back at him, and then joined together in a group hug. 

Ross glanced at his watch. "Wow, we'd better get down there soon. You don't want to be late!" 

"Yes, 'cause they _might_ just start without him."

Joey chuckled nervously. "All right, this is it." 

Ross patted him on the shoulder and the two began to leave the room. Ross stopped and looked over his shoulder. 

"You comin', Chandler?" 

"Yeah, one sec." 

Ross nodded, and he and Joey left Chandler alone in the room. Chandler stared at himself in the mirror and sighed. For a moment, he imagined himself as the one to be getting married, instead of Joey. He saw himself standing at the alter, shuffling nervously as his bride glided down the aisle with dignity and grace. Then, she would face him and he would smile broadly, overcome by emotion. Suddenly, Chandler was jolted back into reality. He remembered that it was Joey getting married, and not him. Instead, he was stuck in the same rut, spending day after day growing older, but getting nowhere. However, he knew, at that moment, he had to focus on his best friends' marriage, not his own dead-ended life. Chandler ran his hands through his hair and then turned to leave the room.

*~*~*~*

          Monica entered the wedding hall and studied the pool of faces. She recognized a few scattered ones, but no one worth talking to. She figured that her friends must all have parts in the wedding, since she didn't see any of them. She suddenly felt even more out of place. She should be part of the wedding, too. Yet, now she was just another face in the crowd; watching as her former friends rejoiced without her. Monica found a seat in the back corner, and hoped that it would somewhat shield her from the meetings that she would undoubtedly have to face soon. After a few minutes, Monica saw a little girl run through the isles and then Ross chase after her. She smiled broadly at the sight of her brother and at how much older Emma looked. She then realized that she should have been there to watch her niece grow up, and a frown replaced her former smile. 

Suddenly, Monica was stunned out of her thoughts by a hand on her shoulder. She turned around and stared at the person behind her in shock. She searched the man's face for signs of leftover anger nervously, afraid that he would start lecturing her again about leaving her family and friends behind to chase a wild dream. Instead, she saw a huge grin spread across his pale, pink lips. Gaining confidence, she smiled timidly back at him. 

"I can't believe it's you!" he enthused.

"I can't believe it's _you_!" she repeated.

He held his arms out to her, and she allowed herself to be engulfed by his warm embrace. She felt him kiss her hair and she sighed, contented. After a minute, she pulled back to study his face again. She noticed his hair graying at the sideburns and more wrinkles on his face, but other than that, he looked the same as she remembered. 

"Chandler," she whispered, still in awe of his presence. 

He was unable to wipe the smile off his face, as he studied her intently. 

"Wow," he breathed, as he looked her up and down, "Looks like aging agrees with you!" 

She laughed and swatted at him playfully. "I don't think so." 

"Well, I do." 

She blushed and looked down at her feet. Chandler moved closer to her and lifted her chin with his hand. 

"We miss you _so _much, Mon."

"I miss you guys, too."

"We're all so sorry about how we acted."

"It's okay. It's all in the past. And I'm sorry for leaving you guys"

Chandler smiled and nodded. "It's okay. It's all in the past."

Monica smiled gratefully and the two locked eyes for a few seconds.

"So, Joey and Phoebe," Monica stated incredulously after their moment of silence, "I would've never thought." 

"Yeah. They make a great couple."

"I bet," Monica stated sadly.

"Aww, but hey--you'll get to see for yourself soon!"

"I know, it's just…I just…I should've been there to see them from the start." 

"Yeah, but, like you said, it's in the past."

"Yeah, I guess."

"Well, I should go…" Chandler patted his chest proudly and deepened his voice, "Best man duties."

Monica nodded while chuckling softly. 

"I'll see you at the reception."  

"Yep."

He stared at her for a few more seconds, and then tore his eyes away from hers. He offered her one last smile and, after a moment, she did the same. Then, he slipped out of the room, leaving her alone once again.  

          Monica was so ecstatic that she had to struggle to keep a grin off of her face. She had waited so long to see her friends again. Now that Chandler welcomed her with ease and pleasantness, she was less worried of how the others would react to seeing her again. Monica was in higher spirits than she had been in a long time, and it felt good. She was fed up with her constant feelings of depression and frustration with life. Monica decided that she would let her guard down for just a little while; attempt to live this day to the fullest. 

Monica watched anxiously watched as her friends gathered at the alter to begin the first day of the rest of their lives. As the minister began to speak, Chandler snuck a glance at in Monica's direction and smiled. Monica, not sure if he was smiling at her or not, didn't smile back. He turned away, disappointed at that, and Monica immediately regretted that she was too afraid to smile at him. It was just a smile—it wouldn't mean anything if it hadn't been directed at her. Still, she was too nervous to even attempt to reciprocate. Instead, she watched as Phoebe and Joey kissed for the first time as husband and wife, and prayed that marriage would treat them better than it had treated her. 

*~*~*~*

          At the reception, Chandler made his way through the mass of jubilant people, half-heartedly greeting those familiar to him. He began searching for Jill. Even though he didn't particularly want to spend time with her, her figured that he should, since she was his girlfriend. Suddenly, someone caught his attention. Monica was sitting at the end of the bar, just staring at her drink, covered by the shadow of a corner. He made his way over to her, sat down beside her, and ordered a drink. She hadn't noticed him yet, so he cleared his throat to gain her attention.

"So, where's _hubby_?"

Monica jumped when she heard Chandler's voice. 

"That was mean--sneaking up on me like that."

"Sorry. I didn't know that your drink was so interesting." 

Monica shrugged. 

"So, where's that stud of a husband of yours?"

Monica scowled at him. "Why do you have to be so negative towards him?! I thought you were over that."

"Right, I'm sorry. It came out worse than I expected."

"Ok."

"So?"

"So…?"

"Husband?"

"Right." 

Monica didn't offer him an answer, but began scanning the room, attempting to be casual about it. 

"So, why are you avoiding the topic of your husband?"

"Oh, we were talking about my husband? I didn't realize."

Chandler raised his eyebrows. "Well?"

"He's…not here."

Chandler looked around jokingly. "Really?"

Monica gave him an irritated smile. "Wow, even after all these years, you still manage to get under my skin."

"Yeah, well, that's my talent."

"I'm not surprised. You sure excel in that."

"Oh yeah."

Monica looked away again, still trying to avoid the topic. She wasn't sure whether she should tell Chandler the truth or just lie. She definitely didn't want him gloating that he had been right all along about her ex-husband, yet she didn't want to lie to him either.  

"So, do I have to pry it out of you?"

"Chandler, please—"

"Is everything all right?"

"We're…we're divorced."

Chandler's eyes widened in shock. "Really?"

Monica laughed bitterly. "You were right. It was a stupid thing to do—marrying him." She paused, waiting for Chandler to answer her, but he just stared at her blankly. "Aren't you going to say 'I told you so'? Or…or 'you should've listened to me—Chandler knows best'?" she wondered indignantly. 

"N—no. I'm…I'm sorry, Mon. I mean I never thought you two would divorce."

"Really? 'Cause you sure seemed like you did."

He shrugged his shoulders, and apprehensively admitted, "I…just…I guess I always thought that you'd find some way to work things out." 

Monica looked away pensively, thinking of Chandler's words. She agreed whole-heartedly with Chandler. She had always believed that when she got married, she would make sure that everything worked out for her. Well, she had obviously failed miserably at that. 

          After a moment of deep silence, Monica looked to her right and was shocked to see Rachel standing next to her. Rachel was just staring at Monica in disbelief. Monica rose from the chair next to the bar and smiled at Rachel.

"Hey."

Rachel smiled back. "Hey."

There was an awkward silence, which was broken after a moment by Jill approaching them. 

"Rachel, have you seen Chandler?"

"Yeah," Rachel pointed to Chandler, whose back was turned towards them, "He's right o—"

"Chandler!" Jill called, completely cutting Rachel off, "Chandler, where have you been?!"

Chandler turned around and discreetly rolled his eyes at Jill. He had forgotten that he was even looking for her, once he saw Monica. Now, he was trapped; he had to talk to her.

"So, where have you been?"

"Chandler," Jill replied through gritted teeth, "Don't start anything in front of all these people!"

"Right," he mumbled, "Can't upset the princess."

"_Chandler_, I can't beli—" 

"Jill," he paused, as he thought of how to change the topic, "I'd like to introduce you to an old friend of mine—Monica." 

"That's nice," Jill answered distractedly. "Anyway, Chandler—" Chandler walked away from her. "Don't walk away from me!" she demanded as she followed Chandler angrily.  

"Wow," Rachel breathed as she shook her head reproachfully. 

"Are they always like that?"

"Whenever I see them."

"Poor Chandler."

Rachel shrugged. "He says he loves her."

Monica raised her eyebrows and watched Chandler and Jill as they bickered a few feet away from her.   

Suddenly, Rachel turned and hugged Monica. After a minute, she pulled back and looked Monica in the eyes, as her own filled with tears. "I forgot to give you a proper hello." 

Monica sniffed, attempting to hold back tears as she held onto her former best friend. "It's okay. Seeing you was enough."

*~*~*~*

"Rach?" Ross asked as he approached them, "I…" he paused when he saw who it was that Rachel was hugging. 

Monica pulled back and smiled at Ross. She bit her bottom lip nervously, wondering why he was just staring at her. Maybe he was mad at her for leaving her brother without a trace. She couldn't blame him though; she would be mad if he did that to her. Then, without warning, he pulled her into a tight embrace. 

"Monica!"

She laughed as her brother held her firmly. Then, she pulled away from him and looked up at his face. "I've missed you."

"Oh, I've missed you, too. You're my little sister!" 

"I'm sorry."

He kissed her forehead softly. "It's ok. It's something you had to do." 

"Yeah," Monica replied absently. 

"Oh, you havta see the kids!" Ross motioned for her to stay where she was, and he ran out the door.

"Kid**s**?" Monica wondered.

"Yeah," Rachel replied, "We have a son, too."

Monica beamed at Rachel. "Wow! I have another nephew." 

Ross reappeared, holding Emma's hand with one hand and carrying Jon in the other. 

Rachel crouched down to speak to Emma. "Hey Emma. Do you remember your Aunt Monica?"

Emma shook her head, her hair flying in every direction. 

Rachel picked up Emma and brought her over to Monica. "This is your Aunt Monica." 

Emma looked up at Monica curiously and timidly waved. 

Monica smiled broadly and waved back. 

"Are you my daddy's sister?"

"Yes, I am."

"Is he a good brother?"

Monica smiled slightly. "He's pretty good."

"My brother's so annoying!"

"Emma!" Rachel scolded.  

Monica looked over at Jon, who was staring at the band playing in front of him in amazement. "I dunno, I think he looks pretty sweet."

"Well then, you don'tknow _my_ brother."

Rachel sighed and shook her head, while Monica laughed. As Monica continued to watch Ross and Rachel holding their children, she began to feel incredibly guilty. She shouldn't have missed so much of their lives. A true friend would not have done something like that. 

*~*~*~*

          After Monica, Rachel, and Ross talked for a bit, Rachel dragged Monica over to the head table excitedly. 

"Phoebe's gonna be so happy to see you here!" 

"Yeah?"

Rachel stopped walking and turned to Monica forcefully. "Wow, you're so not confident. Of course she will be! I mean she wouldn't have invited you otherwise."

Monica blushed. "Right."

Rachel began walking again, but this time didn't have to pull Monica along. 

          They arrived at the table and Rachel tapped on Phoebe's shoulder. 

"Hey Pheebs."

"Hey Rach, are you ha—" she stared at Monica incredulously. "Monica?"

"Hey Phoebe."

"Oh my God!" she squealed and jumped up to hug Monica. "I'm so glad you made it!!"

"Me too! And congratulations."

"Thanks! I can't believe I'm getting married again!"

"Again?" Rachel wondered. 

"Well, there was the ice skater…"

Monica and Rachel nodded.

"And my weddings in my past-lives."

Monica and Rachel looked at each other for a moment, but then nodded again, although hesitantly this time. 

"We should've known," Rachel whispered. 

"Ok, ok, you havta see Joey!" Phoebe decided, "I'll be right back!" 

Monica nodded as Phoebe ran away from them, fending off those who tried to talk to her. Rachel squeezed Monica's hand. 

"We're all so happy to have you here."

"That means a lot to me."

"Good." 

Phoebe brought Joey over to the table, but his back was facing them. They stopped talking and began to listen into Phoebe and Joey's conversation. 

"So, Joey, guess who's here."

"Umm…" Joey looked away pensively and then snapped his fingers, "Harrison Ford?!" 

"No, try again."

"Uhh…"

Rachel turned to Monica. "Now you see why they're meant to be."

Monica laughed and, realizing that it could take Joey a while to figure out who was actually there, she tapped him on the shoulder.

"Can't you see I'm trying to thin--!?" Joey demanded, but then stopped talking when he turned around. "Monica!" 

"Hey Joey."

"I can't…I can't believe you're here!" Joey grabbed her and hugged her tightly. "We missed you."

"I know. I missed you guys, too."

"Thanks for coming back."

Monica nodded, and again, tried not to cry. Her friends had actually forgiven her and accepted her back. However, the relief was too much to stand, so she finally let herself sob silently on Joey's shoulder. She realized that she needed her friends much more than she had allowed herself to admit. 

*~*~*~*

          Later that evening, Monica sat at her table as she watched the different couples dance to a slow song. She noticed Phoebe and Joey dancing and laughing—their happiness apparent even from the distance. It reminded her of her wedding day. It had been small and inexpensive, but still, she had been ecstatic. She truly believed that things would work out; that all of her prayers had been answered on that very day. Now she knew how naive she had truly been. She then turned her attention towards the empty table before her, trying to clear her mind. It annoyed her that while everyone was dancing and enjoying themselves, she was just sitting there, slowly sipping her wine and pathetically watching the others. Monica then saw Chandler walking towards her and smiled, thankful for the company. 

"Room for one more loner here?"

"What about your girlfriend?"

Chandler shrugged and pointed to the bar, where Jill was giggling and lightly patting the bartender's chest. 

"She seems like a…umm…"

Chandler looked at Monica intently, waiting for her to continue her statement.

"Well, there are no words." 

"No, there are words. Just no nice ones."

Monica laughed. "Then why are you with her?"

Chandler shrugged.

"Come on, you've got to have a reason. She _that _good in bed?"

Chandler smiled; glad to see that Monica was able to joke with him, meaning that she must feel at least slightly comfortable around him again. 

"I dunno."

"Aww, come on. You've gotta have some reason. Why are you with her?"

"Why'd you get divorced?" Chandler threw back smugly. 

Monica grinned and shook her head. "Wow, I should've seen that one coming."

"So, you gonna answer me?"

"Nope."

"Then I'm not gonna answer you."

"Fine."

"Fine."

They sat in silence for a few minutes, watching the dance floor, but both sneaking glances at each other when the other wasn't looking. Finally, they caught each other's attention and locked eyes. 

"Would you like to dance?" 

"What about Jill?"

Chandler laughed. "Look at her now." Chandler replied, pointing to her, as she danced a bit too closely with the bartender for it to be just a friendly dance. "I don't think she'll miss me."

"O…ok."

Chandler smiled and rose from his chair. He then held his hand out to Monica, and she grasped it. They made their way to the dance floor and swayed to the soft music. Chandler held Monica close to him and leaned his chin against her head. He marveled at how perfect she felt in his arms. He recognized that some of his old feelings for Monica were brimming at the surface of his strong façade of indifference. Although he never pined over her, he knew that he had felt _something_ for Monica, ever since they became close friends. Her absence in his life had affected him more than he was willing to admit. As he cradled her protectively in his arms, he wondered he how he could ever allow her to leave him again.  

He then moved his lips to her ear and whispered, "I'm so glad you came today."

"I'm glad I came, too."

"Don't leave again," he tried desperately.

Monica looked up at him, and saw his gentle, blue eyes pleading with her. "Chandler—"

"Please, Mon! We miss you so much! Especially me." He tightened his grip on her and softened his tone. "I need you." 

Monica sighed and leaned her head against his chest. 

"Just say you'll think about it?"

Monica nodded against his chest. "I'll think about it." 

He kissed her dark hair softly. "Thank you."

_All right, please, please, please leave me a review! That would make my week. Well, hopefully, I'll have fun in DC and **that **would make my week, but yeah, this would, too!! Ok, anyways, now, only those of u who talk to me online a lot should continue to read…unless of course u're like me and like to read other people's inside jokes. (what? It's interesting!)_

_Going in alphabetical order…_

**_Jenni (#1): I missed u not being online this week! 'Course then I was too busy packing and stuff to talk to u when u got online, so sorries! Anyways, *mocks jenni* I lub u! (still got that cold)_**

**_Julie: Man, too much to say here. I know u'll miss me, but u can always go surfing! Lol BIG ASS FONT GIRLIE! *hides under bed from Julie's posse w/ Eminem but then realized she has no under the bed* ouch, gosh darnit! I hit my head. :(_**

**_Lyss: Wow, u would spend $50 on a bra? …phew I wouldn't spend so much on something that no one would ever see. :( Wow, that sounded so pathetic…lol sok…I'm not looking for anyone to see my bra at the moment, 'cept maybe matty, lol. (did I just share too much info again?) You can make a voodoo doll of ur evil science teacher while I do my evil English teacher, kay? _**

**_Stephie-Poop: Ahhh, I haven't talked to u since wed. night!! OMG I miss u sooooo much!! I'm suffering from Stephie withdrawal.:( Wow, our jokes change so often that I don't know what to say. We were lovers, but now we just enjoy the occasional romp in the sac…lol…jk!!! (don't want anyone who read this to actually believe it cuz I don't want to lose even more respect from my readers) Ok, I miss u babes! How's the obsession (lol or lust)  going? Woops, did I just remind u of what u weren't thinking of?_**

**_Yen (aka Jenni #2): (Last but certainly not least!!!!) OMG I'm soooo sorry I was away when u Imed me. But I had to pack!! Grr…*kills packing with a fork* Yen says: forks; cuz sometimes u need something to poke with. (I messed that up, didn't I?) CHANDLER FOR PRESIDENT!!! Could there BE a better presidential candidate? Lol!! Hehe we have so much fun together! _**

****

Anyways, u girlies better e-mail me or else I'll be really sad! I'll miss u all! And to anyone else who's stuck around to the end, I feel bad for u…lol. Thanks for reading! J


	4. It's Time to Come Home

**Between Us**~Chapter 4~**It's Time To Come Home**

_Hey all! I'm back from Washington DC. I'm exhausted as hell, but I'm back. Did ya miss me? Of course it's 10:30 and I should be sleeping if I'm as tired as I say I am (which I am) but I'm not sleeping...(hmm…really? I didn't get that). Wow, now I'm even talking to myself! I think I'm slowly going insane. (but u weren't already?) Gosh, stop talking to urself!!! Ahh ok!!! Anyways, I had a great time this week in DC and thanks for all of ur warm wishes in ur reviews. I love all these reviews…believe me, I need all the reassurance I can get. Writing and I don't always mix well.  Ok and CNZ, I saw some crazy-assed protests, but didn't join any. There was one anti-war one and I was kinda tempted to join but then they had this guy walking around w/ a Bush mask, dripping with blood (fake) and I was like, "ok, noooo". Then there were those scary people in from of the supreme court who support sep. 11th and stuff…man that was freaky!!! Yeah, so now I'm back and I go to school and only 2 of my friends noticed I was gone. In fact, here is my version of one conversation. "Hey, what did I miss in English?" "You were absent?" "Yeah…for 3 days!" "Seriously?" "Nevermind." Grr…I hate my school. Anyways, enough rambling… I have to shut up so I can get back to talking online.;) Umm…watch out for typos…I'm extremely exhausted so it's prolly worse than usual. This is a transitional chapter, so sorry if it's boring. I swear more stuff will happen soon!!! Anyways, that is all. Please read and review, thanks!!_

_~This chapter is dedicated to Julie. Have fun in Mexico, u crazy surfing biotch u!! Sorry if the chappie dedicated to u sucks though. :( ~_

**Disclaimer: **So remember I said my bro bought me more pez? Well, u prolly don't remember, but he did. So then, I go away, and he EATS MINE!! How rude?! So today my mom bought me more!:) Now it's all good. Anyways, I just thought I'd continue my pez story in my disclaimer—keep w/ the trend. Oh right, u want me to get to the point? I don't own them, although I'm closer to owning them than Yen is. Huh? I dunno…

The next afternoon, Monica stiffly walked forward, while Chandler stayed close behind, edging her on. She looked around in amazement of where she was. It had been so long since she had last been there. She took in a shaky breath and approached the familiar, yet foreign orange couch. She felt Chandler grip her arm slightly and the contact somehow calmed her a bit. She sat down on the soft couch and closed her eyes for a moment, as her fingers lightly grazed the soft velvet. She then reopened them and smiled at her friends. The six remained silent for a few moments, relishing in the fact that they were all together again—something that hadn't occurred in three years. Ross was the only one who dared to break the silence.

"So, Joe, Pheebs," he turned to them and smiled awkwardly, "Excited for the honeymoon?"

"Hell yeah!" Joey enthused. 

"In two hours, we'll be on our way to sunny Pakistan."

Monica raised her eyebrows in amusement, but said nothing. 

"They were looking for exotic," Chandler explained to Monica, "And I for one think they more than surpassed that." 

"It _is _an interesting place to honeymoon," Monica agreed.

"Thank you!" Phoebe answered genuinely, "I think so, too!" 

Rachel cleared in order to change the topic and gain herself the attention. "So Monica, how's Steven?"

Monica paled at the mention of her ex-husband. She looked towards the four questioning faces, and then at Chandler's curious expression. He eyed her nervously, wondering if he should change the topic from the dreaded question that Rachel had raised.  

"I…uh…" she stuttered nervously. She hated telling people that she was divorced. It felt so humiliating. How could _she_ have not made it work? "I wouldn't know."

The questioning looks changed to confused as they exchanged glances with one another. 

"What?" Rachel wondered.

"I wouldn't know because…" Monica took a deep breath. It was now or never. "Because we're divorced."

Collective gasps were heard as they processed the new piece of information. Meanwhile, Monica fidgeted nervously in her spot, wondering what they were all thinking. Had they decided that she was a weak? Could they see that she was truly a failure?

"Aww…Mon," Ross began as he moved to hug his sister, "We're _so_ sorry."

After a moment of watching Ross and Monica, the others joined in a group hug. Chandler observed as the scene unfolded in front of him and swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat. Monica deserved happiness, yet there she was, looking depressed and miserable about life. He stroked her hand, which was wrapped around Phoebe's neck, sympathetically, trying to communicate to her that he was there for her. It was the only thing that he could think of doing in order to help her. 

*~*~*~*

          That night, Monica sat in Ross and Rachel's living room. They had gone upstairs to prepare their children for bed, leaving Monica alone in the comfortable silence of their suburban home. It amazed Monica that Rachel and Ross had made it to the point where they were living in their own house, raising a family together. She lifted a photo of Ross, Rachel, and their children, and stifled a sob. Monica felt as if she had entered some strange universe containing her former dreams, except her brother and best friend were living her dream out, and not her. 

"I don't want that anymore," she whispered harshly. No, she didn't need a family. She had herself to look after. That was enough. She had said those words so often that she now totally believed them. It was now the foundation of everything she ever did and any relationship she ever began. 

          A few minutes later, Rachel entered the living room and brought a cup of coffee to Monica. She then sat down next to Monica, and sipped her own coffee carefully. They remained in a comfortable silence for a few minutes, both cherishing the feeling of being with their best friend once again. Rachel placed her mug down on the coffee table in front of them and turned towards Monica.

"So Mon, when are you moving back?" 

Monica let out a frustrated sigh. "I'm not moving back here." 

"Come on, Mon! Why not? Don't you miss us?"

"Of course I do! It's just…I have too much in Boston. I can't leave."

Rachel turned away abruptly, almost as if a physical blow had been forced upon her. "I see. Yet, you had _nothing _to leave back when you were in New York?" 

"It's not that, it's just--"

"No, it makes perfect sense," Rachel interrupted harshly, "You have a _new_ life, _new_ friends…" 

"I…" Monica looked down at her hands, which were clenched around the material of her skirt in nervous fists, "Where would I even live?" 

"What?"

"Well, I have like no money, and it's hard to find a good apartment in Manhattan to begin with."

"You could live with us."

Monica shook her head forcefully. "I couldn't impose."

"It wouldn't be imposing! Ross and I would love to have you here! And the kids…they love spending time with family."

Monica shook her head again. "I would feel out of place." 

"I see." Rachel picked up her coffee again and drank absently. She then snapped her fingers, and Monica grimaced as Rachel almost spilled the hot liquid all over her lap. "You could live with Chandler." 

Monica laughed.

"What?"

"You're serious?"

"Yeah. Why not?"

"Because it's Chandler."

"So?"

"So…" Monica chuckled nervously, "Chandler and me living together? That would be like…Phoebe and Joey getting married!" 

Rachel raised her eyebrows in amusement. "Uh Mon…"

"I know!" she growled. 

"Please Mon, just move in with him! He wouldn't mind. He's been really lonely lately."

"I doubt that girlfriend or, whatever she is, would approve."

"She wouldn't care."

Monica shook her head. "I can't."

"All right," Rachel answered sadly, "That's fine."

An awkward air filled the room after that conversation. Monica wanted to remain in New York, but it felt as if there was a huge barrier from her past blocking her from doing so. No matter how hard she tried to overcome the barrier, she couldn't manage to defeat it. Instead, she let it rule her life. However, could she really turn her back on her best friends _again_? 

*~*~*~*

          The next day, Chandler sat at his counter, hunched over it with his head leaning against the counter sadly. When there was a knock on his door, Chandler tore himself from his seat and opened his door half-heartedly. 

"Monica?" he asked, shocked.

"Hey."

"I thought you left for Boston."

"I couldn't leave without saying good-bye." 

He smiled slightly and gestured for her to come in to the apartment. After a moment's hesitation, she entered. She looked around the apartment and smiled sadly. 

"Looks a lot different than you remember it, huh?"

"Yeah."

"Same chair though," Chandler reminded her, lightly punching the brown chair for emphasis.

She nodded and continued to investigate. "What's so different?"

"No entertainment unit, new couch…that's about it."

Monica scrunched her forehead. "I guess you forget a lot when you leave it for a while." 

"It's empty now," Chandler stated sadly, "No big white dog, no foosball table…Joey took 'em all with him."

Monica nodded in comprehension. "It's hard to live alone, isn't it?"

"Yeah." 

"I know the feeling." 

"You don't have to."

"Chandler, please—"

"I know, I won't bother you about it. Rachel's done enough pestering for the both of us."

"Thanks."

"So, why are you going back?"

"I have a life there." Chandler nodded, but Monica felt the need to justify herself some more. "I have a job, friends, history, all of my possessions. It would be so hard to pick up and move again. It was much easier before, when I was younger." 

Chandler chuckled. "You talk about it like it was an eternity ago."

"It was for me."

Silence filled the room for a few moments, and they both shuffled nervously in their spots. They knew there was so much more to be said between them, yet neither could fathom the words. 

"I should…go."

"Yeah, I guess so."

Monica moved closed and hugged Chandler tightly, clinging to him desperately. Monica reveled in the feeling of being in Chandler's safe arms, holding her in an affectionate embrace. Chandler breathed in her scent and the feel of her body against his caused his throat to go dry. Afraid of doing something crazy, he pulled back abruptly. Monica flashed him a curious look, and he offered her a sheepish smile in return. 

"You take care of yourself," Monica warned him as she stroked his cheek.

Chandler swallowed hard and nodded. "You too." 

"I'll try." 

"Call me."

Monica nodded. "I will."

She turned around and began to head out the door, only to stop at Chandler's sudden plea. 

"Mon?"

"Yeah?"

"If you ever need me—"

"I know."

He smiled and waved hesitantly. "Bye."

Monica struggled to find her voice, and only managed a whisper. "Bye." 

With that, she headed out of the door, and out of his life. Chandler stared at the door for a few moments, wondering if he should've done something more to keep her with him. He already missed talking to her, holding her, and even just seeing her bright face. 

"Monica…" his desperate murmur filled the empty room sharply, "I need you."  

*~*~*~*

           Monica sat in the train station, waiting tediously for her train to arrive. She looked down at her watch impatiently, and began tapping her foot. It was a quarter to ten—her train was due to arrive at ten exactly. She wished the train would arrive soon so that she could leave New York for good. It was too difficult to be there without thinking of the memories and the pained expressions that formed on her friends' faces as she informed them that she would not be staying. She felt so conflicted, yet she didn't feel anything at all anymore. It was as if her past was fighting with her present. Herself in the past cared deeply for her friends, while herself in the future felt callous towards almost everyone. It was hard enough to deal with her life alone, so why drag others into the equation? On an impulse, Monica dug into her suitcase and found a small picture of her friends, taken six years prior to that day. She studied the picture, noticing their happy faces, and felt the tears sting at her eyes. She began to remember how much she loved and needed her friends. Even if her life was wretched, having her friends there to help her through it made things much easier. Perhaps she wasn't as insensitive as she thought. She still cared so much for her friends. Monica stood up swiftly at that revelation. Instead of boarding the train, she left it behind.  

*~*~*~*

          Chandler ran his hands through his hair. A million thoughts were floating through his head, and he desperately tried to collect them all. Monica was gone again. He let her walk out of his life. But still, he couldn't help but think that maybe it was a good thing. If he had those feelings for her, however slight they may have been, he knew that nothing could ever happen between them. Now, since she was gone, he didn't have to deal with seeing her and fighting off those thoughts so often. Then again, his feelings had never been as strong as they were now. Back when they were younger, although he found her attractive, he never lusted after her. Now, although unsure of what had changed, all he wanted to do was hold her in his arms. Chandler sighed; feeling overwhelmed by his confused emotions, and plopped down on his barcalounger. Suddenly, the door burst open, and a figure flashed by him. Chandler blinked a few times, before he registered that it was Jill. He groaned and turned his chair around to face her. 

"Could I have some privacy please?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't know you needed some." She studied him intently. "What's wrong?" 

"Nothing."

"Come on, Chandler. You can tell me."

He raised his eyebrows in amusement. "I didn't know that I existed."

She sighed and patted him on the chest. "You know I don't feel that way about you." 

Chandler shrugged, trying to keep track of his spinning head. Why was Jill being so nice to him all the sudden? Was she trying to mess with his emotions? 

"Just going through some stuff with my friends."

"Oh, the guy who used to live here?"

Chandler rolled his eyes. "You don't know his name? You went to his wedding, for crying out loud!"

Jill shrugged callously. "It slipped."

"Right. Do you know my name?"

She smiled sarcastically at him. "Haha."

"Yeah, I just miss him. And my other friend…the one who came to visit for a few days."

"Oh, the small, dark-haired girl?"

He raised his eyebrows. "Monica? Yes."

"Ohh. Well, don't get so hung up on it. Live a little bit!"

He chuckled at her choice of words. Still, perhaps she was right. He really wasn't living when he was so preoccupied with his pathetic life. Maybe if he focused on other things, he would be in higher spirits. He looked at Jill, who had picked up a magazine from his coffee table. 

"You know that's porn?"

"Yeah, well, it's better than nothing."

He laughed. "Thanks for listening to me."

She nodded. "See, I can be a good person."

"You learn something new everyday."

He leaned in to give her a soft peck on the lips, and when he did so, she intensified the kiss. Suddenly, passion overtook them, and they began tugging at each other's clothes hastily. Chandler took the initiative, and lifted Jill up gently, heading straight towards his bedroom. However, even while caught up in the intense passion, thoughts of Monica kept residence in the back of his mind. 

*~*~*~*

          Chandler stared at Jill for a moment as she slept next to him, and then slowly got out of bed, careful not to wake her. He grabbed his robe and headed towards the kitchen. He fished out a beer from the refrigerator, leaned against the side, and took a few gulps of his beer. Something didn't feel right within him. Maybe he and Jill never truly connected. Whatever the problem was, he couldn't stand the feeling that he was left with. He didn't feel comfortable with Jill in his arms. Her body felt foreign against his. He scratched his head as he contemplated the situation. Part of him wanted to just dump Jill now and get it over with. Still, the resistance was strong in his mind, and he just couldn't let her go so easily. What if they could become something great? He squeezed his eyes shut, frustrated. Why did he repeat this same argument in his head over and over again?! Suddenly, he was frightened back to reality by a knock on his door. Chandler walked to the door as he struggled to tie his flannel robe around his body. He attempted to drive all of the conflicting thoughts from his head as he turned the knob slowly. The door opened and Chandler was taken a back by who was on the other side.

"Monica?"

She smiled slightly. "Hey. Am I interrupting anything?" 

Chandler blushed at his bedroom attire. "No, not at all." 

"I uh…"

"Came back?"

Monica bit her bottom lip nervously. "Yeah."

"For good?"

"I hope so."

Chandler nodded slowly.

"Is that okay?"

"Is that okay?" Chandler repeated incredulously. "That's the best news I've heard in months!!" 

"Seriously?"

Chandler moved closer to her and looked her in the eye. "Even better than finding out that I no longer had to support Joey." 

Monica chuckled.

"So…you gonna live here?"

"No, I mean…I couldn't."

"Why not?"

"I dunno."

"If I offered, would you accept?"

"I'd have to see."

"Monica, would you _do me_ the honor of allowing _me_ to live in _your_ presence?"

Monica giggled. "I don't think that I would word it like that, but yes."

Chandler smiled broadly and lifted her from the ground excitedly. "So it's a yes?"

Monica looked at him, their faces inches apart, and replied softly, "It's a yes."

"You're not gonna regret this!" Chandler promised as he grabbed her bags and brought them into Joey's former room. 

          Monica stood in the living room alone for a moment, trying to decide how to subtly make changes to the apartment without offending Chandler's tastes. Suddenly, the door to Chandler's room opened and Jill peeked her head out.

"Chandler?" Jill opened the door wider and saw Monica standing out there. However, she ignored Monica and asked, "Chandler, who's out there?"

"I'm Monica," she held her hand out to Jill, but Jill didn't offer her own to shake it. "Ok, be that way," Monica mumbled under her breath.

Chandler re-entered the living room and sighed. He hoped that Jill wouldn't interfere with their new living situation.

"Hey Jill," Chandler hesitated nervously, "Monica's…well…she's…gonna live…with me."

"Excuse me?"

"I'm sorry, Jill," Monica cut in, "But I have nowhere else to stay." Jill eyed her suspiciously. "I swear! I mean we're just friends, nothing more. _Believe_ me!"

Chandler felt disappointed by her comment, but then shrugged it off, realizing that she had a valid point. There truly wasn't anything more than friendship between them. 

"Ok," Jill conceded, "I trust Chandler."

Monica smiled gratefully. "Thank you so much!" 

Once Jill headed off to the bathroom, Chandler smiled at her. 

"Thank you," Monica whispered.

Chandler nodded and hugged her. "No problem."

Monica wrapped her arms around his neck and looked around the apartment incredulously. This was it; she was going to take the plunge over the barrier that her past had formed. She just hoped that she would be able to jump that barrier, and not get caught in between it instead.

_Ok, I hope this chapter was all right, and I swear next chapter will have more stuff happening! Or at least I hope… I rewrote most of this one tonight (had it done last week) so I hope it's at least better than it was. Anyways, I'm more tired than a monkey swimming in a pool of mud, so I'm gonna split. Leave me a review please, thanks!! _


	5. Just A Kiss

**Between Us~**Chapter 5**~Just A Kiss**

_Yeah, I got a lot less reviews for the last chapter. Is this story started to suck already? If you want me to continue, then review. If u don't, I'm gonna assume you hate it. Well, I'll also assume that if u leave a bad review, obviously…hehe so either way… Oooh, funny story!! Ok, not really funny, but that's ok. Anyways, I bought the Chicago soundtrack last week and I've never seen the movie or the show. Hehe, I'm so pathetic. Mark my word, I **will **see it! Oh, and I also got my Season 3 DVD's!! They came a day earlier than the release date! I felt very special. I've watched it a bit this week…I still have 2 episodes left on the first disk. Oh and Julie and I were talking about different ages of people who write fics, and now I'm really curious. So if u write fics and wanna tell me how old u are, that would be nice. It's just like…one of those…general wonderment things, ya know? Like don't feel compelled to tell me. If u think that's weird then wow, cuz I think about weirder things than that, believe me. (Ha, yen, u know…cuz it's like one mind and all. Ya, I had to mention u somewheres in my a/n or I would've gotten an earful…) _

**Disclaimer: **And the tale of the pez dispenser is over:-(. Don't have anything more to say about that. So, I tried to think of a good disclaimer last night and I couldn't. All right, I don't own any of these characters, except for Leslie. *yawns* How boring? __

Monica held the black cordless phone against both her right ear and shoulder, as she unpacked cooking supplies. 

"There's seriously _nothing _in this apartment!" Monica complained.

"He's a guy," Leslie answered on the other line, "What did you expect?" 

"Well, I thought he'd at least his own plates!" 

"He's a guuuuuuuy," Leslie sang.

"Yeah, but he _used_ to…" 

"That was then." 

"Yeah..."

"You okay?"

Monica straightened up. "I'm fine!" 

"Okay…"

"Better than okay!" 

"Right, you're _fine_."

"_Exactly_."

There was a pause in the conversation. 

"I'm gonna miss you."

Monica smiled sadly. "I'm gonna miss you, too."

"If you ever need anything, give me a call. And if anyone ever does anything to you, I'll be over there in a flash to kick their ass."

Monica chuckled and pushed a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "Thanks." 

"Call me later?"

"Of course."

"Okay then, bye!" 

"Bye."

Monica pressed the off button on the phone and stared at it for a moment. It was strange to know that Leslie would only be her friend through the phone now. But still, she was with her _real _friends now. She was with the same friends that had always held her heart. She looked up and studied the apartment. She had made a few changes already. For instance, she hung up new, flowered curtains, and a few scattered pictures. She was sure Chandler didn't appreciate her changes, but he never protested. Monica decided that she wouldn't think about Chandler's reaction, unless he made his feelings known to her. Besides, Chandler probably could care less. He was, after all, as Leslie put it, 'a guy'. They didn't care about those things, right? 

          A few minutes later, Monica returned to unpacking, but was interrupted when Chandler entered the apartment. He smiled at Monica and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. 

"How was your day?"

"Great!"

Chandler was surprised by her enthusiasm. "What'd you do?" 

Monica looked away sheepishly. "Unpacked, cleaned."

"Ohhh ok. _Now_ I see why it was such a great day."

"I'm gonna let that slide, _just this once, _since you're letting me live in your home. 

"Hey, it's both our homes now. But thank you." 

Chandler put his briefcase down on the floor next to the kitchen counter, and began to sift through the mail that he had brought upstairs. A few seconds later, Monica glanced down at the briefcase and then eyed him expectantly. Chandler looked up from his mail and raised his eyebrows.

"What?"

Monica moved her glance back down towards the case. "Nothing."

Chandler sighed, grabbed the briefcase, and moved it next to the door. 

"Thank you!" 

Chandler mumbled in response. He knew to expect things like that from her. After all, she was still Monica. 

*~*~*~*

          The next night, Monica looked around Ross and Rachel's house, carefully scanning for any misplaced objects. She wished she hadn't allowed Ross to talk her into this. She wasn't ready! She had only been back in New York for a few days. Ross laughed and shook his head woefully.

"Mon, the house is fine."

"I…I know," Monica said, as she straightened a picture on the wall.

"Besides, it's not like it's your house."

"Yes, but she'll _still _blame me for everything."

"Mon—" 

Monica turned away forcefully, unwilling to hear the rest of Ross' speech. Maybe he was right. Perhaps her mother wouldn't care what the house looked like. For once, Monica actually hoped that she would focus on the insignificant things. If her mother centered her attention on that, then Monica figured she wouldn't spend her time focused on Monica's disappearance. After all, a daughter returning suddenly after three years of absence isn't exactly an offense that's easily forgiven and forgotten. There was a knock on the door and Ross opened it. Monica could hear a faint complaint coming from her mother's mouth and a garbled response from her father. Her mouth went dry as the footsteps reached closer and closer to the living room. For so long she had sought out her parents' approval, and she had lost it for sure now. 

"Ross dear, why don't you take our coats upstairs like a gentle—" Judy stopped mid-sentence when she entered the living room. "Monica?"

"Judy, where'd you go?" Jack entered the room obliviously, but suddenly caught on to his wife's reason of shock. "Monica?"

Monica smiled timidly and licked her lips. "Mom, dad."  

Ross entered the living room and sensing the tension, enthused, "Hey guys, look who's here!" 

Jack and Judy turned towards Ross with questioning looks on their faces. Monica, however, remained rooted in her spot. She never knew what to say or do around her parents, and this time was no exception. Instead, she waited nervously for someone to say something. 

"Why don't we all have some dinner," Ross offered meekly. 

Judy nodded and left the living room. Jack stared at Monica for a few more moments and whispered, "We thought we'd lost you." Monica, stunned at his words, just stared at her father as he made his way to the dining room. 

"You okay?" Ross asked as he rubbed Monica's shoulders soothingly. 

"Yeah," she answered absently.

"They just need some time to get used to the fact that you're here."

Monica nodded in response. 

"Come on." Ross latched on to her arm, and practically had to drag Monica into the dining room. 

          There was silence all around the table as the four family members picked at their food. Although they had many fights in the past, there was never such an awkward air around them. Now that there was, it felt so uncomfortable that Monica could barely breathe. 

"So Ross," Judy finally attempted, "Where's Rachel and the kids?"

"Oh, they went to spend some time with Rachel's mom." 

"That's nice." 

"So who made the food?" Jack chimed in, "I'm assuming not Rachel."

Ross shook his head. "Monica did."

Jack nodded slowly, and without looking at Monica replied, "It's very good." 

Then, that uncomfortable silence returned. The same silence that made Monica's heart speed up and palms turn clammy. It wasn't like her parents not comment on anything. It was almost as if Monica wasn't even there. 

          Finally, the dinner ended, leaving none contented physically or emotionally. Although her parents and she wanted to leave, Ross insisted that they stay for coffee and dessert. Finally, fed up with the silence and lack of answers, Judy stood up suddenly. 

"Why'd you leave?" she demanded. 

"I—I don't know."

"That's not a reason!" 

"I know." 

"You could've at least kept in touch! But you didn't leave us an address or anything! We had no idea what happened to you!" 

"I know. It was stupid. I'm sorry."

"Sorry can't undo it."

Monica bit her lip and turned away from her parents. 

Judy's tone suddenly softened dramatically. "Where's he now?"

"We got," Monica looked down at her feet, "We got divorced." 

Her parents stared at Monica for a few moments, and then Jack approached her and timidly put his arms around her. 

"We're so sorry," he whispered, "You're still our daughter and we love you."

Monica pulled back and searched her father's face. "Really?"

"Of course!" 

Judy nodded and silently hugged Monica. Even though she was still obviously angry, there was more to be settled before anger. Judy broke the embrace and ran her hands through Monica's hair curiously. "Are those gray hairs?" 

*~*~*~*

          When Monica returned to her and Chandler's apartment, she ran into the bathroom and searched frantically though her hair. Upon hearing her speedy entrance, Chandler left his bedroom, and stood in the bathroom doorframe worriedly.  

"You okay, Mon?"

"Yeah, yeah," Monica replied distractedly as continued running her hands through her hair. 

"So what's with the hair?" 

"My mom told me she saw gray hairs!" 

Chandler laughed and pulled her into a hug, in order to calm her down. 

"Don't worry about it."

"Will you look for me?" 

"Monica—"

She gave him a pleading look, and his heart melted immediately. He hated the power she had over him. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't say no to her. Monica kneeled on the floor, and bent her head, allowing her dark hair to cascade over her face. Chandler kneeled down behind her and moved forward so that his lips were just a few inches from her neck. He then began to timidly run a finger through her hair. He closed his eyes and took in the flowery smell of her hair. It was the same smell that he reminded him of her and especially of that night in London, eight years before. He took in a shaky breath and continued searching, while scolding himself for feeling attracted to Monica. 

"Well, I don't see anything," he answered hastily after a minute. 

"You barely searched! Look again." 

Chandler sighed, and put both hands in her hair, as his heart sped up. It was just her hair—why was it doing this to him? 

"You—you have a lot of hair."

"Yeah I know. It's a pain in the ass to deal with in the morning. Guys have it lucky, ya know? You barely have any hair at all. In fact, if you wanted to, you could shave it all off!"

"Well, I like long hair." 

"For yourself?"

Chandler paused, flustered. "No!" 

"Oh, ok. Just checking." Monica then began to giggle.

"What?"

"I'm just picturing you with long hair."

Chandler laughed a bit, breaking his uneasiness a bit. "Ok Mon, I think you're clear." 

Monica sat up quickly, causing the back of her body to lean against Chandler's front. Chandler, caught off guard by that action, inhaled sharply. Monica turned around and frowned at Chandler's startled face.  

"Are _you _okay?" 

"Yeah, I'm fine." 

"Okay…" 

"All right, I'm gonna go to bed!"

Monica looked at her watch. "It's only nine. Sure you don't wanna watch a movie or something?"

"Nope, I'm wiped."

"Aww…all right then." 

Chandler learned in to give Monica a kiss on the cheek, but unaware of this, she turned her head, causing their lips to brush lightly, but leaving an intense spark. For a few moments, they both stared into each other's eyes, unaware of anything, but their feelings. Then, blinded by desire, Chandler moved in again, kissing Monica with growing hunger. Somehow, her arms found their way around his neck, caressing it softly, as his moved up and down the small of her back. This was what he wanted--to kiss and hold and touch Monica once again. The feeling of her body against his sent him into another universe. Suddenly, one of the floorboards creaked, bringing Chandler back to the harsh reality. He hastily broke their kiss and moved away nervously. 

"I—I--Oh my God Monica—I'm so sorry! I'm so—"

"It's okay."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" 

He then ran into his bedroom and slammed the door. This wasn't supposed to happen. Monica was his best friend. He couldn't allow anything to get between that, especially when she was in such a critical state. Not only that, but he had a girlfriend! He hadn't thought of Jill once since Monica had returned home, until now. Still, he was able to shrug off that guilt. It was just a kiss, it only happened once, and he would never allow it to occur again. Plus, he was sure Jill had _at least _kissed another guy while she and Chandler were dating. 

          Meanwhile, Monica watched Chandler enter his room in shock. Feeling her legs go weak, she sat down on one of the stools and brought a finger to her lips dreamily. It had been so long since she kissed a guy and felt such excitement. The feeling of his hands caressing her back and his tongue in her mouth had left her reeling. How could she just go back to be friends with Chandler? She wondered if she'd be able to look at him in the same light ever again. Sure, they had been together in London, but it had taken her so long before she could be around Chandler without wanting to attack him. Well, if she could do it once, she could do it again. 

"Still," Monica whispered, "I forgot how good of a kisser he was." 

_Ok, please REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW! If u don't I'll…I'll…pull a Blueyes!!!! (not that that's a bad thing, lol) I'll umm…give Monica umm…a mysterious tropical disease that causes her to feet that smell worse than a wet monkey and umm…have Chandler's evil twin come back to murder him and then take his place!! Hmm…sounds more like a Simpson's Halloween special, doesn't it? _


	6. Fantasy Becomes Reality

**Between Us~**Chapter 6**~Fantasy Becomes Reality**

_Ok, my cats are so dumb. My brother got a guinea pig like three months ago and they both **still **have no idea! Aren't cats supposed to have good hunting skills? Well, I guess they're lucky they don't live outside… _

_Anyways, OMG u guys are amazing!! Thank you so much for all the reviews! And hey, they weren't bad ones either! If you guys keep reviewing like that, I'll be sure to throw a party for next chapter! Invisible cake and party favors…it doesn't get much better than that. (is that enough incentive to review?) No tropical diseases or evil twin Chandlers…yet. *raises eyebrows* Oh, before I forget, I would like to say that if I told any of you that Yen was thinking of not continuing or actually **was** **not** continuing Desire, I'm sorry because she is. Hey, I was upset that she wasn't! Luckily, she forgives me 'cuz I'm just so lovable! (right?) Of course, she would've never known if two unmentionable people didn't have such **big** mouths *coughs* JamieandJulie *coughs* Oh and if anybody knows what wheel barrel style is, please e-mail Yen at sexyyenni@monkey.com. Ha jk that's not her e-mail addy…yet. **Warning: this chapter is not for the more…squeamish people (and by squeamish I don't mean faints at the sight of blood. More like faints at the mention of sex;) ) **Anyways anyshmays, I'm sick (again:o I'm always sick) and wanna go rest, so please read and review, thanks! Oh, and to Lyss and anyone else who is sick (or in Lyss' case, apparently, getting over the sickness) feel better! _

**Disclaimer: **I don't own these characters, although I did buy Yen at half off her ticket price. Nobody waned to purchase her, so I gave in. Now she's my non-sex slave!;) 

That morning, Chandler stumbled out of his bedroom in a half conscious daze. The night before had given him little chance to sleep. Instead, his mind was busy processing what had happened. After hours of replaying and analyzing it in his head, he had come to only one conclusion. He and Monica had kissed. Did she want something more? Did he? "Worthless brain," he muttered as he opened the bathroom door. When the door was opened, Chandler heard a shocked gasp. He knew that he should run; yet he was rooted to his spot, merely staring at the sight before him. Monica was there in only a black, lacy thong. His eyes remained locked on her bare chest, studying her curves in blind delight. Monica then grabbed her robe and covered up. He looked up at her flushed cheeks and then looked away guiltily. 

"I…I…" Chandler stuttered. _Come on! You look like a total pervert now! Say something! _

Monica gave Chandler an amused like. "You okay?"

"Yeah it's just…" he looked away sheepishly and mumbled, "I was really turned on." _You idiot! Don't say that to a woman who you just saw naked! _

Monica smiled teasingly and allowed her gaze to fall, "I can see that." 

Suddenly, wishing he was wearing more than just boxers and had more self-control, he turned away and blushed. 

"Don't worry, I'm not mad."

"You—'re not?"

"Hey, you've seen more than that before. Plus, it's nice to know that I still have that affect on someone."

Chandler nodded, his throat too dry for words. He was shocked at how easily she had forgiven him. He figured she would've slapped him and then moved out or something along those lines. After all, he wasn't supposed to see his best friend naked. 

"This'll just be…" he began nervously.

"Between us."

Chandler smiled gratefully. "Yeah." 

"Definitely." 

"You done in the bathroom?" 

"Yeah."

"All right then," Chandler said awkwardly. 

Monica exited into the living room, sat down on the barcalounger, and leaned her head back. She should've covered up sooner. She shouldn't have allowed Chandler to see her for so long. After all, he had a girlfriend. Still, the moment he opened the door, she saw that aroused look upon his face that Monica hadn't seen for so long, and she couldn't cover up right away. Instead, she found that she wanted Chandler to do more than just look at her. She had spent most of the night thinking about that kiss she shared with Chandler, and remembering how it felt when they had slept together in London. He was beginning to turn her on in a way that was horribly wrong. This was her best friend and the man who was graciously sharing his apartment with her. Above all of that, he had a girlfriend! _I wish I was his girlfriend. No, no, I don't wish that! Mon, you're talking crazy here. You don't want a boyfriend. You don't want a relationship. _She nodded, realizing that she really didn't want a relationship now. She needed to do some intense soul searching before that. Besides, she and Chandler weren't supposed to be together. They were just friends. They had decided that after London. A relationship would never work between them. Not that any of Monica's relationships ever worked out to begin with. Suddenly, the bathroom door opened and Chandler walked out wearing a towel. Monica feigned indifference and just threw him a smile. In return, he smiled lopsidedly and she had to hide the grin that was forcing its way upon her face. _He has the cutest smile. _

*~*~*~*

          Late that afternoon, Chandler and Monica were sitting on opposite sides of the couch, watching _The Brady Bunch_. It wasn't that either of them enjoyed the show. In fact, it was quite the opposite. They both hated the show with intensity. It reminded them of their lonely childhoods. In spite of this, neither changed the channel. It was something to get their minds off of the events of the past two days. 

"Did you think Greg was cute?" Chandler wondered, "Ya know, when you were a kid?"

"Uh…no." 

"Oh."

"Why? Did you?" 

"I'm not gay!"

Monica smiled smugly. "I _know _that."

A few minutes later, Monica glanced at her watch, stretched, and got up. Chandler looked up at her curiously. 

"Where're you going?"

" A Date."

"On a date?"

"Yes."

"Oh, a date."

"Yes, a date." Monica gave him a quizzical look. "Something wrong with that?"

"Nope, nothing at all. _In fact_, you've just reminded me that I've got a date with Jill tonight, too." 

Monica nodded, attempting to swallow her envy. She had her own date. He was entitled to one, also. 

"So, who's the guy?"

"Oh, Albert from work."

"Albert, huh? 

"Yeah…"

"Kinda a geek's name, isn't it?"

"Well, it _can't _be much worse than _Chandler_."

He laughed nervously. "I should've seen that one coming."

"Sorry, it was just so easy."

"Yeah."

After that, an awkward silence filled the room. Neither knew what to say to each other that didn't involve the unmentionable events.  

"Well, I should get ready." 

Chandler nodded and watched her retreat to her bedroom. He stared at the closed door for a few moments before running towards the phone. He dialed and gripped the phone nervously.

"Hey Jill," he began in a hushed tone, "How'd you like to go to dinner and a show tonight?"  

*~*~*~*

          Monica groaned inwardly as she listened to her date go off on a tangent about the problems with democrats in the government. If she had been more into politics, she would've been insulted by his bashing, since she was a democrat. Still, she had more important things on her mind. She hadn't been able to get Chandler out of her thoughts all day. She kept feeling his soft lips pressed against hers, and relishing in the memory of his warm embrace. Unconsciously, she let out a sigh; causing Albert to stop talking and eye her suspiciously instead.

"Is something wrong?" 

_Yeah, a lot is wrong! _Monica screamed in her head. _You're boring, you're bald, and you're not Chandler! _ "No," she bluffed, "Nothing at all."

"Oh, well you haven't really been talking that much." 

_Well, you haven't given me the chance to._ "I haven't? I didn't notice. You're arguments are just _so_ interesting." 

He smiled proudly. "Thank you." 

"You're welcome." _Loser. _

"Anyway, as I was saying, democrats are _against_bringing religion into the government. I, for one, think it's the only way to…" 

Monica blocked out Albert's words, and again found herself in Chandler's arms. 

*~*~*~*

          "So, why'd you call me up so last minute, Chandler? I thought you had plans tonight." 

"I did, but they fell through. So, I figured I should go with what I originally wanted to do." 

"See Lion King for the fifth time?"

Chandler blushed. "Well, yes, but that's not what I meant. I meant go out with you."

"How sweet." 

She reached out and ruffled Chandler's hair. He raised his eyebrows but said nothing. 

"So, how was your day?" 

"It was pretty uneventful." However, in his head, he began to laugh at that answer. It was the most eventful day he had in years. He just couldn't tell her about it. 

Jill nodded. Suddenly, her cell phone began to ring. She answered it, and Chandler stared at her expectantly. She just raised one finger to him, causing him to roll his eyes in disgust. Her phone call was more important than he was! He watched as she laughed over the phone, and began to drift back to Monica. He closed his eyes and he saw her beautiful face, flushed with embarrassment? Excitement? He wasn't sure which, but imagined it was the second. Then, he pictured her topless again. Remembering her nipples, erect and dark against her pale skin caused his breath to speed up and his mouth go dry. Suddenly, he was jolted back into reality and scolded himself for thinking of another woman while he was out with his girlfriend. He wasn't that type of guy. Still, he continued to see Monica. _Ok, ok…think of…the Knicks game you were at last week. The final shot was scored, and we won the game! And then the team hugged and high-fived and… there are Monica's breasts again! _He sighed and covered his eyes in frustration. _Joey's dirty, smelly socks. _He smiled, satisfied. _There we go. Ok, Joey walking around in his sweat-covered undershirt, stuffing his face with pizza, and… Monica wearing nothing but Joey's dirty shirt. Damnit! She even makes **that** sexy! _

"Chandler?" Jill questioned.

He broke his train of thought and looked up at her. "Yeah?"

"The waitress gave us the check like ten minutes ago!"

"Oh," he answered distractedly. 

"Where have youbeen?! Mars?!" 

He chuckled nervously and answered, "I'm just a little tired." Even though inside, his mind was screaming, _No. Much worse! _

*~*~*~*

          Monica stood outside of her apartment, with her back towards the door, while Albert stood in front of her. He began to move towards her slowly, and Monica put her hand out to stop him. 

"I had a great night." 

"Uh...me too," Monica replied through gritted teeth. 

He leaned in to kiss her, but Monica turned away and opened her door. However, Albert seemed undaunted by her hostile actions. 

"So, we should do this again soon."

"Yeah. I'll call you," she answered quickly, then slipped into her apartment, and slammed the door in face. She leaned against the door in utter exhaustion. He had almost bored her to death with his droning conversations. 

"Vote Republican!" He yelled from the hallway. 

She groaned and moved into the kitchen area. While she got out a glass from the cabinet, Chandler entered from his bedroom, wearing a gray t-shirt and flannel pajama pants. He was glad that he had learned from his earlier mistake and wasn't only in boxers because she was wearing a strapless, red dress that complimented her perfectly and sent him spinning. 

"So, should I be making myself scarce?" Chandler wondered as he looked around the room. 

Monica shuddered.  "No!" 

"That bad, huh?"

"Like you wouldn't believe." 

Monica took out a bottle of aspirin and swallowed two pills in one, swift gulp. 

"So what about you? Jill in there?"

Chandler snorted. 

"I take that as a no."

"She had to go home and wash her hair."

Monica tried to stifle a laugh, but to no avail.

"I know I'm pathetic, but you don't have to laugh at me!"

"I'm sorry, Chandler. It's not the situation. It's just the way you said it."

"Sure…"

Chandler moved into the living room and sat down. Monica pulled up one of the green stools and stared at him.

"What? Do I have something on my face?" he wondered and began wiping at his mouth.

Monica shook her head and grabbed his wrist. However, as soon as she did that, she felt her fingertips burning and dropped his wrist hastily. 

"So…what?"

"Can I ask you a personal question?"

"Sure. You can ask me anything."

"Well, it's not really any of my business…"

Chandler raised his eyebrows. "Try me." 

"Well, I was just wondering…how long…has it been since…well…you and Jill…ya know?" 

Chandler frowned. "Why do you want to know?"

"It's been ten months for me, Chandler," she answered, her intense stare unfaltering. 

Chandler broke eye contact. "Wow."

"So, how long for you?" 

"Uhh…a few weeks."

"A few?"

"The day I thought you left was the last time."

"That's not so bad."

Chandler shook his head. "It was much longer before that."

"How long?"

"Four months." 

"Wow. Jill really doesn't want to give it up, does she?" 

He chuckled at her choice of words. "Okay…" He sighed, "Nah, she just doesn't find me attractive." 

"Oh, Chandler, that's not true. You're very attractive." 

Chandler laughed. "Right." 

"No, you are! Not only that, but you're really good in bed. What I don't understand is why Jill wouldn't want you."

Chandler's face blanched at her words. "Excuse me?" 

"Crap," Monica muttered. "I…I…I'm pretty drunk."

"I can see that."

"But, it's true. I couldn't get London off my mind for a _looong _time."

Chandler looked up at her curiously.

"Come on, one of us had to bring it up."

He nodded. "It _was_ a great night." 

"Yeah…" 

At that moment, Chandler and Monica were both at the edge of their seats, faces almost touching. Monica could feel Chandler's hot breath on her face, causing desire to stir within her. She leaned forward and kissed him softly on the lips. She pulled back and Chandler stared at her blankly for a few moments. Then, next thing she knew, his lips were on hers, kissing her with unrestrained passion. The kiss was more intense than the one of the night before. Both were demanding more from each other, and in turn, giving more back. Chandler held her tight against him as their tongues fought to demonstrate their lust. Chandler broke the kiss and they stared at each other, panting. Chandler looked Monica in the eyes nervously as he began to feel Monica's breasts through the red material of her dress. She sighed softly and closed her eyes. 

"You're beautiful," he whispered in her ear and then began to suck on her earlobe tenderly. 

Monica moaned in response. After a moment, Chandler lifted her up and, when he found no resistance, carried her into his bedroom. He placed her on her feet gently and unzipped her dress slowly, causing the red material to fall to the ground around her. Monica swallowed the lump in her throat and hastily lifted his shirt off his head. She ran her hands up and down his chest lightly, causing goose bumps to form all over his body. 

"This is just gonna be between us, right?" Chandler asked softly.

Monica nodded as her fingers moved down his body. He grabbed her hands, kissed her knuckles, and then picked her up again and led them to his bed, where they discarded the remainder of their clothes. They made love quickly and roughly, turning their fantasies into reality. He then rolled off of her and on to his side. They fell asleep hugging each other tightly, thinking of neither tomorrow nor the repercussions of their unbridled passion.

_Ha! Jenni, was that sex enough for you? You want more? Wow, you **are **like a horny guy. Hehe jk. So, was that more like what you wonderful reviewers were looking for? Remember, if you don't review, I **will** pull a BluEyes (still not a bad thing, lol). I thought of a name to the feet stink disease. Smelly Feet Syndrome. Creative, huh? Thanks for reading!:-) _


	7. Truth Revealed

**Between Us~**Chapter 7**~Truth Revealed**

Hi ya, I'm back!! Ok, I would start out by campaigning for more reviews, but I won't because I was dumb enough to admit my reviewing history to Jamie and now she has the power to make me feel guilty for asking. So, if you'd like, please review. Unless of course you'd like Chandler's evil twin brother to show up. His twin's name is…umm...Chuck. Ialol…that was the dumbest thing I've said all day!! (Of course, I woke up 2 hours ago and I haven't talked to anyone yet). Anyways, yeah, Chuck's sharpening his knife so you'd better watch out.;-) Anyways, please read, review, and have a happy Easter or Passover or Spring break…w/e u're celebrating. (Spring break for me is 3 days. How much does that suck?! That's not a break!!)

**Disclaimer: **This is normally the place where I make fun of Yen in form or another. However, since she got me a UJ code, (hehe u havta see what I've done so far…or what I've done to Yen's. Monkeyitis!) I'll havta let her off the hook…for this chapter. Love ya Yen and I don't own these characters! Although I do own a monkey sex slave!;) *sighs* 

That morning, Monica awoke with the first rays of sunlight. Her primary realization was that she had a huge headache. She moaned softly at the pain and then noticed she wasn't in her bedroom. She nervously turned to face the man holding her and sighed contentedly when she remembered the night before. Chandler felt Monica stirring and opened his eyes. She smiled at him as he sat up against the bed board. 

"'Morning," he greeted groggily.

She turned and slithered next to him. "'Morning." 

He wrapped an arm around Monica and kissed her temple. "How'd you sleep?"

"Pretty well. Your bed's really comfortable!"

"Yeah, well Joey broke mine two years ago and I decided to go all out and buy the most comfortable one."

"How'd Joey break it?"

"Oh, he thought it would be fun to…see…how fast a bed could roll down a hill." 

"Okay…"

"My thoughts exactly." 

Monica looked down at his blue comforter and picked out a thread nervously. 

"So, what are you gonna be doing tonight?"

Monica shrugged. 

"Well, I'm gonna break up with Jill, but after th—"

"Break up with her?"

"Well, yeah. I mean we're…gonna try it…aren't we?"

Monica looked at Chandler nervously. "I…"

Chandler's face fell. "You don't want to?"

"It's not that I don't want to, it's just…I'm not in that place right now." 

"What?"

"Look Chandler, you're a great guy—my best friend in fact! But I can't have a boyfriend now. I'm still trying to get my life back on track." 

"But—" Chandler looked into Monica's pleading eyes and immediately resigned. "I can wait for you."

"Don't wait for me. I'm not worth it."

"But Mon, you are!" 

Monica shook her head forcefully. "Please, just get on with life, all right?"

Chandler nodded hesitantly. 

"It was just one night of pent up emotions," Monica continued, "Now that this is out of our systems, we can go back to normal lives."

"You're right," Chandler agreed quietly. 

However, neither truly believed those words.  

"I should…get ready for work."

Chandler nodded and handed Monica his tee shirt, which she gratefully pulled over her head. 

"What do you want for breakfast?"

"You don't havta make anything."

"I want to."

"Well, in that case, pancakes would be great."

"No problem." 

Chandler watched as Monica left her room and sighed. If she was right about it merely being lust, then why did the fact that they wouldn't be together hurt him so much? 

*~*~*~*

          A half an hour later, fully dressed and slightly fazed, Chandler staggered out of his bedroom. The smell of freshly baked pancakes permeated throughout the room, and Chandler's stomach started to rumble. He hadn't noticed just how hungry he had been. He saw Monica hunched over the stove with a look of concentration plastered on her face. She was attempting to make the pancakes perfectly fluffy and brown, so to not leave Chandler with all disappointments. Sure the pancakes wouldn't replace what had happened, but she thought, perhaps, they could cushion it. She looked up from the stove and noticed him studying her. She blushed and turned away. She wasn't supposed to still feel that way for him! 

"How many do you want?" 

"Three sounds good."

Monica removed the last pancake from the pan and slid it carefully on top of two other pancakes that had been placed on the plate beforehand. She handed him the plate and he thanked her. Then, they both sat down at the counter and began eating. Though there was a heavy silence, it wasn't exactly awkward. Monica and Chandler were too conflicted to talk to each other. Instead, both of them replayed the events of the past couple days and their heads, and tried to make sense out of everything that had occurred. It was much easier said than done. 

"I should go," Chandler stated after ten minutes of pensive silence. Even though he didn't have to be in work for another two hours, he was afraid that, if he stayed much longer, he would end up begging Monica to be his girlfriend. Monica nodded and watched as he got up and left the apartment. A moment later, he reappeared, grabbed his briefcase from its spot next to the door, and left. _I bet he's happy I made him leave his briefcase there now,_ Monica thought triumphantly. She began to clean the dishes and her mind wandered back, yet again, to Chandler. He had been so romantic, yet wild with her. The mix was perfect for her that night. As much as she wanted it to be sweet, she needed to let out all of her frustrations. She couldn't even remember the last time she had felt so alive. _Probably London_, she decided woefully. What was Chandler doing to her?! 

*~*~*~*

          That afternoon, Chandler sat in Central Perk, alone, sipping coffee. He hadn't been able to get his thoughts off of Monica all day, not that he had really expected to. Everything had moved too fast and confused him too much. He heard the door open, and sighed when he realized it was Jill. How could he even look her straight in the eyes? He had cheated. He'd never done something like that before. How could he have done that?

"Hey, I thought I could find you here."

Chandler nodded. "Wh—what's up?"

"Oh, well my company's having a party tonight, so I just wanted to tell you to pick me up at seven. We have to be there at 7:30, so I think it'll be enough time."

"What if I'm busy tonight?"

She chuckled. "Well, then break your plans, silly. This is much more important." 

At first Chandler wanted to protest. To remind Jill that he had a life, and she shouldn't expect him to just drop everything for her. Yet, he couldn't do it. When he looked into her unsuspecting face, he couldn't deny her. A wave of guilt washed over him, pushing him down into an ocean of sorrow. If she were to ever find out what he did to her, he wouldn't be able to bare it. He had betrayed someone. He had become that kind of person that he had tried so hard not to be. The same type of person who had hurt him so often in the past. Thinking back upon his actions, with the woman whom he had betrayed sitting right next to him, caused him to feel ill. He leaned back on the couch and sighed. This was it. He had gotten to the point in his life where he not only hated himself, but was now repulsed by himself. 

*~*~*~*

          That afternoon, Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel sat in Rachel's living room. They sat in silence, none having the words to start a conversation. Maybe Monica was back, but things were surely not how they used to be. Instead, they each stole glances at each other, and when they were caught staring, they offered each other helpless smiles. It didn't seem like they were even acquaintances, not to mention best friends for years. 

"So…" Rachel tried, "Pheebs, how's the marriage going?"

Phoebe turned to Rachel excitedly. "Oh my God, it is great!"

"Yeah? That great?" under her breath, Rachel mumbled, "Newlyweds." 

"Yeah, he's always so sweet and attentive—"

"Joey, attentive?" Monica wondered. 

"Well, whenever I tell him to do something 'or else we will not have sex for a week', he does whatever it is I want him to do." 

"Ahh, the upper hand," Rachel recalled, "Best thing the wife has over her husband."

"Do you have that with Ross?" 

"Hell yeah!" 

Phoebe and Rachel began laughing and sharing more stories about marriage, while Monica just sat there and listened. Sure she had been married. But it wasn't long and it wasn't happy, like their marriages seemed. It was tedious and painful and most of all, a waste of time. Tears began to form at the surface of Monica's eyes, and she wiped them away before anyone saw. They wouldn't understand her distress. 

"Mon, you okay?" Phoebe asked worriedly.

Monica sniffed and nodded her head. "I'm just catching a cold. Hey Rach, do you have any tissues?"

"Yeah, there are some in the bathroom."

"Ok, great, thanks." 

Monica rose from her seat and walked towards the bathroom. When she entered, she had to grimace. The place was _so _messy. Monica took out a sponge and disinfectant, and began to clean. As she cleaned, her mind began to wander. All of her relationships were ruined. She didn't feel like she belonged with Phoebe and Rachel, and, while Chandler was now her best friend, they had last night to work out. Monica sighed. _Why do I always fall for the wrong guys?_

          After cleaning for a few more minutes, Monica decided to get back to her friends in the living room. After all, it doesn't take five minutes to get a tissue. She returned and groaned inwardly upon hearing they were still on the topic of marriage. When they noticed her, they stopped talking. She sat down and smiled cautiously at them. 

"Mon, we were just wondering…" Rachel began nervously.

Phoebe continued, "Well, see the thing is, we were talking about marriage and what makes people get divorced."

"And since you are the only one of the three of us who was actually in a _real _marriage when you got divorced, we were just wondering why." 

Monica didn't answer them, so Rachel took the time to justify their question further. "I mean you've been home for so long now, and you haven't mentioned anything about your divorce."

"You ever think that there's just nothing to say?" Monica asked with hostility. 

"Well you must've had a reason."

"Sure, I had a reason." 

"What was it?"

"Sometimes, things just don't work out."

"Yeah, and there's a reason for that!"

"I don't want to talk about it." 

"Come on," Rachel prodded, "We're your best friends!"   

Monica stood up and walked towards the door. "Not anymore." 

"Wh—what?" Rachel wondered. 

"Best friends would leave it alone! If I _say _I don't wanna talk about it, I _don't _want to talk about it!" Monica screamed.

Rachel stood up and faced Monica. "I bet _Chandler _knows." 

"What the--?" 

"Yeah, Chandler's your new confidant. Well, fine then." 

"Chandler doesn't know either." 

"Right."

"I don't understand why you have to make such a big deal out of this."

"I don't understand why you have to make such a big deal out of _this_!"

Monica and Rachel locked eyes, glare unfaltering. 

"So," Phoebe tried, attempting to break the fight, "How about them Yankees?" 

Rachel broke her stare and turned to Phoebe. "It's not baseball season."

"Fine, well _you _try to find something to break the awkwardness!"

"It's ok, Phoebe. You have no reason to. I'm leaving."

"Mon—" Phoebe pleaded. 

Monica ignored her and headed for the door. She sent Rachel one last angry glace and walked through the door. 

After a moment, Rachel ran out and called to her, "Fine, run away again! But don't think I'm going to let you back in my life _again!_" 

Monica turned around swiftly. "Don't worry. I don't want to be." 

With that, Monica picked up her pace and headed down the block in a blind rage. 

*~*~*~*

          That night, Chandler returned home from the party in low spirits. He had a horrible time there. Jill had abandoned him after five minutes, and no one else there had given him a single look. Instead, he sat at the bar and sipped a few drinks for three hours. He entered his apartment cautiously, not sure if he was ready to see Monica again. However, when he got inside, he found the counter full of empty wine bottles. Thinking that maybe Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe were having one of their 'girl parties', Chandler barely gave it a second glance. However, when he heart low moans from Monica's room, he became worried. All earlier thoughts left his head as he went over to her bedroom and knocked on the door.

"Monica?" 

She didn't answer him, so he decided to open the door. After slowly turning the doorknob, in order to give Monica time to notice he was entering, Chandler opened the door and saw Monica sprawled out, face down, on her bed, surrounded by more wine bottles and some pictures. 

"Monica?" 

She looked up at him, but didn't answer, so Chandler sat down next to her. 

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing." 

Monica attempting to sit up but ended up falling back down on her stomach. Chandler helped her by sitting behind her, grabbing her by the elbows, and pulled her into a sitting position in his lap. Monica made no attempt to sit on her own; she just leaned back on his shoulder. 

"Nothing's wrong?"

"Nopers." 

"You just get dirt drunk on your own for fun?" 

"I'm not durunk." 

Chandler stifled a laugh. "Sure you're not." 

"Okay," she held up her thumb and pointer finger a few inches apart, "Mabe I'm a litrle durunk." 

"You gonna tell me why?" 

"I told you why." 

Chandler nodded and just allowed her to close her eyes and rest for a few minutes. Then, he noticed a picture next to his leg. Carefully, he picked up the picture and looked at it. Monica opened her eyes, and, after noticing what Chandler was looking at, gave out a sharp cry and violently snatched the picture from his hands.

"What the hell are you doing?!" 

"What? I—I was just looking—"

"Well DON'T!" 

"I'm sorry. Why can't I look?"

"Because…" 

"Yeah?"

"I'm gonna throw up."

Chandler handed her a trashcan, held her hair back and grimaced, as she vomited. When she seemed to be finished, Chandler left the room and brought her some water. After she drank some, she leaned back on him. He kissed her hair and leaned his chin on the top of her head. She then fell asleep against his chest. 

          That morning, Monica awoke and grimaced at her horrible hangover. She got up to use the bathroom and shower, leaving Chandler to sleep more. However, when she got out of the bathroom, Chandler was sitting in the living room, waiting for her.

"So, what was that picture?"

"It was nothing."

"It was a baby." 

Monica shut her eyes tightly and tried to block it out. 

"Who was that baby, Mon?"

She let out a small squeak, as she tried to hold in tears.

Chandler's voice was calm and even. "I won't tell anyone." 

"I…I don't think I could trust you…"

"Mon, you need to talk about whatever is hurting you so much." 

"I…"

He wrapped a hand around her waist, causing her to fall on top of him. "Please. Do this for yourself. You can trust me."

"You promise?"

"I swear."

"O—ok. But you can't tell _anyone_." 

"I won't."

Monica nodded and took a deep breath. This was it. She was going to talk about what she hadn't talked about for so long.

"The baby in the picture is…err…was mine." 

"What?"

"That was my baby boy," Monica recalled miserably, "David Steven." 

Chandler wrapped his arms around her tightly and kissed her neck. 

"See, we had the name all planned out," Monica said between sobs, "David was my husband's middle name and Steven was…was…his first." Monica broke into a fit of sobs. When she recovered, she looked into Chandler's caring eyes and saw that she could continue. He wouldn't judge her. "David was born with a lung defect. He—he only had an hour to live." 

"Oh my god Mon, I'm _so_—"

"Don't say it." 

Chandler nodded slowly and instead of talking, kissed her hair again.

"I held him once. Held my baby in my arms once. I talked to him once. He—he was so small. I still remember the way he felt in my arms. It was so perfect. He—he was mine. And then they took him from me. They took him so he could _die_. How could something so perfect be ruined?" 

"I don't know, Mon." 

"I guess I deserved it. For abandoning my friends and family."

"No," Chandler said firmly. "You didn't deserve that!" 

Monica merely nodded in response.

"There's more to the story, isn't there?"

"The divorce."

"Yeah?"

"Well, after the baby died I was distraught. But Steven…I never saw him even shed a tear. And then, when I asked him why, he shrugged indifferently and said, 'How could I become attached to something that I only saw for twenty minutes?' After he said those words, I hated him so much. Everything changed. We fought constantly. Then, I did it. After only two months of the bickering…no counseling or anything…I told him I wanted a divorce. I gave up so easily."

Chandler turned to respond, but instead was mesmerized by her face. Tears rolled down her pale cheeks and he wiped them softly with his thumbs. Then, he looked into her eyes. He saw more than just hurt in them. What he saw in her eyes was so un-Monica that it shocked him to his very core. Defeat.

Ok, thanks for reading! Sorry that this chapter prolly sucked pretty badly. I have my reasons for it though. They're 3-fold! Chuck's looking over my shoulder…so you know what that means;). He's just waiting for his time to enter this story. Don't let him win!! Ha ok, last but not least, I'm gonna try to start a new a/n tradition for myself. It's called Becca's Ficly Nosepicker and I'm gonna ask a question that will make u guys think and I won't answer the question. You can answer it if you'd like in ur review, think about it urself, or just ignore it and think Bec's insane. Any of these things work. 

Bec's Ficly Nosepicker: If a couple were to get divorced and then sleep together, is it still considered fornication? (hehe I came up with this one when I was talking to Jamie, although we were talking about nothing even remotely close to this topic;) Remember? Lol I'm gonna go shut up and yarmor now. Bye!!)


	8. A New World of Deceit

**Between Us**~Chapter 8~**A New World of Deceit **

Hey people. I don't have anything stupid to say for once. I've had a hard week. Damn history paper's been driving me crazy. I've definitely been lacking in inspiration lately. Not just for this fic, but for everything I have to write. Like, I have a play for my creative writing class and so far, including stage directions, I have one page of my three-scene play! I don't know if it's been stress or what, but my head's feeling extra empty. I just want to warn u guys, 'cause I think this chapter probably reflects how I've been feeling lately. I'm determined to finish this though. I don't want yet another unfinished fic under my name. If I end up not finishing this, then I'd probably remove it from the site, cause unfinished stories drive me bananas (had to sneak in a monkey related word somewheres). But I think I'll finish it. This one's been my most popular one so far. Plus, I like it. :) Also, determination usually makes up for my lack of inspiration. Just if this story turns so bad that I get like one review for a chapter (like the ones that I didn't finish), then I'm digging it its grave. I mean I have other ideas for fics. Just can't work on more than "one" at one time cause of school. Ok, so I did ramble after all…lol, what'dya know? Anyways, please leave me reviews cause I really need something right now, (sorry if it sounds like I'm trying to guilt u's, cause I'm not. I'm just telling the truth) Thanks!

**Disclaimer: **I own Jill *looks away*…but the other characters…nopers (sorry for stealing "ur word", lyss). Oh and I have a monkey sex slave. He's _all _mine, although I lend him to Yen once in a while to…ya know…scratch that monkey-lovin' itch of hers. ;) 

Chandler waited in Rachel's living room for a few minutes. He wasn't sure exactly what he was going to say to her. How can you tell one friend to be more understanding of another without showing favoritism? He didn't want to have to play peacekeeper, but Rachel's words were hurting Monica, and neither would apologize to the other.  And he sure didn't want Monica to go through anything else. When Monica was crying in his arms, he knew right then and there that he had to do anything he could to help her. _Well, this is the first step to helping, I guess_. Rachel entered the room and smiled at Chandler.

"So, what's up?"

"Rach…I…hmmm…ok…there's no easy way to say this."

"What? Is everything okay? Is someone hurt? Did Joey fall down the steps chasing the ice cream truck _again_?" 

"No, no, nothing like that," Chandler paused and twisted his hands awkwardly, "I don't want to sound like I'm putting all of this on you…'cause I'm not."

"Putting all of what on me?" 

"Well, it's just…the stuff with Monica." 

Rachel threw her head back, frustrated. "Oh."

"She's gone through a lot and…"

"Yeah, well I've gone through a lot, too! Do you know what it feels like to lose your best friend?"

Chandler sighed. He sure knew what it felt like. Monica was more than just his best friend. Still, he couldn't tell Rachel that. She wouldn't understand. "Then why lose her now?"

"I—"

"She's really conflicted right now."

"She is?"

"Yes."

"Do you know why?"

"No," Chandler lied, "But I know that when she says she doesn't want to talk about something, she has good reason not to."

"I guess you're right."

"I am right. You should just be there for her, unconditionally. Then, when she's ready, she'll tell you what's been going on."

"Yeah, you're right. I'll go apologize to her."

Chandler smiled. "Good."

"You're a great friend. I'm sure Monica'll be so touched that you came here for her." 

Chandler smiled and hugged Rachel thankfully. He knew that things could work out for she and Monica. They just needed someone to help them along a bit.

*~*~*~*

          "You told her?!" Monica screamed after Chandler had told her what he had done that afternoon. 

"What? No…I just told her that you had a lot going on."

"You don't have to fight my battles for me, _Chandler_. I'm not completely useless!" 

"But—"

"I don't need your pity help!" 

"Monica…"

She was pacing around the room angrily, head darting from side to side in rage. She hated the fact that Chandler was doing all of this out of pity for her. She knew that she shouldn't have told him her story. Chandler grabbed Monica by the shoulders to get her to stop pacing. He looked down at her and sighed. 

"I wasn't doing this out of pity. I was doing it because I care about you."

"Yeah, sure…"

Monica tried to squirm out of his grasp, but stopped when she realized he wasn't going to let go of her. 

"Please understand that I just did it because I wanted to help you. When I see you miserable…well…it kills me inside."

"Really?"

He looked straight into her eyes and informed her, "Yes. I mean if I could, I would hold you in my arms forever and never let anything bad ever happen to you ever again." 

Monica's voice softened dramatically. "Really?"

"Really." 

Chandler then leaned in to plant a friendly kiss softly on her lips, just to assure her that he meant his words. However, what he didn't think of was the effect it would have on them. Once their lips brushed, passion overtook them once more. The same feelings that they had locked up inside for the past few weeks, which was allowing them live together in a semi normal fashion, were all released in one single moment. Then, next thing they knew, their clothes were sprawled out all over the living room and Monica was on top of Chandler on the barcalounger. 

"We shouldn't be doing this," Chandler panted. 

"I know," Monica replied distractingly. 

"I want you."

"I know." 

"Keep this between us?"

"Of course." 

After that agreement, they stopped talking and completely concentrated on each other and the short time they had to be together. 

*~*~*~*

          Monica lay on top of Chandler as they attempted to catch their breath. He held her close to him, relishing in the feel of her soft skin against his own. He kissed her neck gently, wanting to remember this moment forever.

"Chandler?" she mumbled.

"Hmm?"

"I—I can't do this."

"Do what?"

"A relationship."

"I know."

"So then we shouldn't do," she gestured to their naked bodies, "This."

"Yeah, I know."

"But I want to so much."

"Me too."

"Every time I see you, it takes all my willpower not to jump you." 

"Same for me." 

Monica sat up with sudden inspiration. Chandler looked at her expectantly, hoping she had found the strength to attempt at a relationship. 

"What if we…" she trailed off, ashamed at her request.

"What if we…what?"

"What if we did that, ya know, friends with privileges thing?" 

"Monica, I dunno…those don't always work out so well."

"It's either that, or we'll have to live with each other and never be able to do this again." 

"I…"

"Just until I get some things sorted out."

"I have a girlfriend."

Monica looked away. "I know."

"I'll break up with her."

"Don't."

"But—"

"And try to work on things with her. And if they turn out to become better, then we'll stop the privileges thing." 

"It's so dishonest."

Monica looked down at their entwined hands. She couldn't look Chandler in the eyes, while telling him to, ultimately, cheat on his girlfriend. "I know. But she doesn't give you the attention that she should. She needs to learn a lesson."

"I guess you're right." 

Monica kissed his lips softly and began to trace patterns over his torso. She needed to convince him that it was okay just as much as she needed to convince herself. "Just take some time to think about it," She kissed him again, "Remember, it'll just be between us." 

Chandler rested his head on the back of the chair and closed his eyes. How could he turn down Monica? She had the power to make him grovel at her feet. He was pretty sure that Monica knew that, too. One look into those desperate, blue eyes was all it took to convince him. Even if he wasn't doing this for himself, he had to do it to help Monica.  

*~*~*~*

          A few nights later, Chandler was on a date with Jill. He was staring at the wall opposite her, deep in thought. Everything he was doing, it was so _wrong_. He had never done anything like that before…ever. Not that he usually had the chance to. He couldn't remember the last time he had more than one woman pinning after him. _Well, pinning in some way or another._

Jill's superior-toned voice cut through his thoughts. "Chandler? What's wrong?"

"Huh?"

"You've been out of it all night." 

"I'm sorry. I've just been really…tired." 

Jill nodded and he looked away guiltily. She was completely oblivious to his 'secret life'. Of course, it didn't really surprise him. How often did she pay attention to what was going on with him, anyway? 

"This is a great restaurant!" 

"Yeah? I'm glad you like it." 

In fact, it was quite the expensive restaurant. Chandler had decided to take Jill there because he thought that, if she appreciated the fancy gifts that he showered upon her, he would feel less guilty for his actions, in return. If he was keeping her happy in one respect, he concentrated less on the unfaithful side of him. To Chandler, their relationship was like a scale. The heavier side of the scale was the disloyal side. The other, lighter side, was the side of her happiness. If he added more to the lighter side, eventually it would outweigh the other one. __

"This place is so expensive," she smiled, "I _love_it!" 

Chandler couldn't help but reciprocate her smile. Her enthusiasm was contagious. "I'm glad you like it."

She leaned over and kissed him on the lips. It was just a short, peck on the lips, but it was enough to shock Chandler. After he got over the initial surprise, grinned at her. She rarely ever showered affection upon him, especially not in public. For a moment, he forgot about Monica, and felt happy about the personal battle that he had conquered. After over a year of dating, he had finally made Jill happy. _Maybe there's some kind of reward for that or something._

*~*~*~*

          Chandler returned to a dark apartment that night. He blindly searched the wall, with the palm of his hand, for the light switch, and, after finding it, flipped it on. 

"Monica?" 

He saw Monica's bedroom door opened, but she wasn't inside. Although he didn't remember her informing him that she was going out, he decided that perhaps she was down at Central Perk or at Ross' house. He undid his tie as he walked across the living room towards his room. He opened his bedroom door and turned on the light. He jumped when he saw Monica laying on his bed in a red-laced teddie. 

"Monica?"

"Hi there Chandler," she greeted in a sultry tone.

"Mon," he whispered harshly, "What if I had taken Jill home with me?!" 

"I—I dunno…I figured you wouldn't since you never do." She looked up at him and batted her eyelashes. 

"You can't just…do things like this, okay?"

"Why not?"

"Because if we want to keep this just _between us_, than we have to be careful. There's always a chance that I could be taking Jill home with me…or Joey…or someone. And if they saw _you_,almost naked, lying on _my _bed, I _think _they would get the idea, don't you?" 

"I know, you're right. I just wasn't thinking." 

Chandler nodded and sat down on his bed. He turned to her and moved in to kiss her. She pulled away and smiled teasingly. 

"So, how was the date?"

"Can we not…umm…discuss my date? It makes me feel really sleazy." 

"Oh ok…sorry."

"It's all right."

There was an awkward pause for a few moments. 

"Did I get you out of the mood?"

He smiled. "I could never get out of the mood." 

"Good."

He pushed her down lightly on the bed and then climbed on top of her. He began kissing her with Monica responded hungrily. 

"Condom?" she questioned.

"Night table."

Monica reached for the nightstand and searched around for a few moments. She stopped when her hand brushed a soft velvet box. She learned forward and turned on the light on the nightstand, instead. 

"What are you doing?" 

"What's in the box?"

"Oh," Chandler brushed it off, "It's nothing."

"Nothing? It sure…looks like something," Monica opened the rectangular box and stared at it for a moment, "It's a bracelet." 

"Yeah."

"For Jill?"

"Yeah. Something wrong?"

Monica chuckled uncomfortably. "Of course not." 

"Okay then." 

Chandler moved in to kiss her again, but Monica meandered from his reach.

"Wha—what was that for?"

"Nothing. I'm just not in the mood anymore, that's all."

"What? Not in the mood?!"

"Yeah, not in the mood." Monica gave him a look that warned him not to go any further. "Is there something wrong with that?" 

"No, I mean if you're not in the mood…"

"That's right." 

Monica got out of his bed and exited the room quickly, attempting to avoid any further questioning. Still, she didn't leave fast enough. Chandler got up right after her and grabbed her gently by the wrist. 

"Mon, are you sure everything's okay?"

"Yeah, everything's fine. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to…wash my hair."

"Wash your hair?" he chuckled uneasily, "Ya know I've heard that one before."

"Yeah I know. From the woman who you're buying a bracelet for," Monica recalled bitterly.

"Huh?" 

"Nothing."

"Are you…jealous?"

"No," off Chandler's incredulous look, Monica relented, "Yeah, a little."

Chandler smiled slightly and caressed her cheek softly. "You have no reason to be jealous. You've got my heart."

"Really…I…" Monica was stunned, "I do?"

"Yeah."

"Oh." Monica looked away harshly.

"What? Isn't that what you wanted to hear?"

"Yeah, I guess. It's just…I can't say it back…not yet…not now…but I will…one day, I swear it's just…"

Chandler leaned forward and kissed her tenderly. "Don't worry about it. I know."

Monica sniffed, at the verge of tears. "Seriously?"

"Yeah, seriously."

After he said that, tears began to stream down Monica's cheeks. Chandler moved in and hugged her tightly. No one had been as understanding of her as Chandler was being. His behavior touched her more than he could ever know. Chandler, aware of exactly what she needed, held Monica in his arms for the entire night. And, for once, Monica felt safe from the world that had been so cruel. 

_*coughs* What in the world is that smell?! OMG it's horrid, it's *coughs* it's Monica's smelly feet! *giggles* j/k…for now…anyways. Oh before I forget, who saw The West Wing with Matty? Mmmm…he looked **so **good. *giggles* Ok, time to work on my history paper some more *cries*. Please leave me a review, thanks! _


	9. The Questioning Begins

**Between Us~**Chapter 9**~The Questioning Begins**

_Hey People! I'm baaaack! Hehe I just love doing that. I'm so much less stressed this week. It's amazing. I have like no work now. Figures. FYI: I finished writing this fic! Yay!! I wrote three chapters in 2 days. I swear that's my record lol. Ok, no, I wrote four chapters of 2 different fics on a snowday once. (the first 2 chapters of this fic, actually hehe).This one is the third to last chapter in this series. So sad, I know. Oh, and I have to formally retract  some statements I may have made about BluEyes. She is not mean to me, nor does she have a big head. In fact, her head is so microscopic, that I need a magnifying glass just to see it. No matter what I've said, I love her cuz she's my sexy bitch…in a sexless kind of way! *steals back matty* muwhahahahaahahahaaha! *locks him in her safe* Yay!! I think we lost sight of why we were kidnapping Matty to begin with…Ha, anyways, hopefully you wonderful readers enjoy this next chapter. Please leave me a review! Tankies!_

**Disclaimer: **I still don't own them, although I did steal Matthew. Muwhahahahaha!! *watches as Jamie steals back Matthew* DAMNIT! 

This chapter is dedicated to my very dear and weird sexy monkey buddy Yen (JenniGellerBing) in honor of her *coughs* teenth birthday which is today!! Yay!! I've been looking forward to this day all week! *gives Yen blank-teen birthday punches* that was fun! I think I'll do that more often. *kisses Yen* happy birthday babes! Thanks for being an awesome friend. I love u more than a monkey eating banana birthday cake! :-)

A month had gone by since their pact. A month of friends with benefits. And every time he would lay with Monica sleeping soundly in his arms, he would wonder where he got the strength to do this. How he could hold the woman that he felt so much for in his arms, without knowing if it was even accomplishing anything. Still, he cherished the feeling of her body against his in a way that he could communicate to no one else. It was a feeling of comfort that he had gotten from no where ever before. Of course there was that uneasiness along with it, but the good outweighed the bad—for the most part. 

That day, the reunited gang sat in Central Perk, sipping coffee and exchanging anecdotes about their lives. Monica sat quietly and took it all in. They rarely all got together anymore. Sure, she would get coffee with Chandler, Phoebe and Joey almost everyday, but Ross and Rachel had families and other obligations keeping them away. However, today, Ross and Rachel had dropped their kids off at Monica's parents, and life was back to normal. Well, back to normal for just a few hours. Chandler got up and walked past Monica, his arm purposely brushing against her thigh as he rose. _Well, not everything is back to normal. _

"Wow," Ross stated, "We haven't all been together in a long time."

The rest nodded in agreement with Ross.

"We should really do things together more often," Phoebe decided.

"Well, Ross and I were thinking of taking the kids mini-golfing on Sunday," Rachel suggested, "The rest of you could tag along."

Chandler, returning from the restroom, quipped, "Oh, I'm tingling with excitement." 

Rachel swatted his arm. "Fine, don't go."

"No," Joey whined, "If Chandler doesn't come with, then that would defeat the purpose of going in the first place! And I sure as hell don't want to go miniature golfing just 'cuz the kids want to."

"You'll make a great father," Ross added, deadpanned.

"Thanks, man. You too."

Ross threw a confused look at Chandler, who just shrugged his shoulders. He had long given up trying to figure out what Joey was saying.

"Ok, so we're all going miniature golfing on Sunday," Rachel announced, "Okay?"

They all mumbled in agreement. 

Monica, listening to the conversation from within the silent shell of her life, began to feel physically sick. Since when did Rachel plan things for the gang? That was her job! But she didn't have the strength anymore to get up there and do it. She was surrendering control, and it pained her immensely. She sunk down lower on the couch and sighed sadly. 

*~*~*~*

That Sunday, the gang went miniature golfing, as planned. And, as they suspected they would be, they were bored out of their minds. Ross was busy chasing after his kids. The rest of them, however, were standing at the sixth hole, listening to Rachel tell a story. However, Ross demanding that she help take care of her children cut her off.

"Fine, fine," Rachel rolled her eyes dramatically, "Never a moment's peace." 

Rachel left and Joey began following her.

"Are you helping with their kids?" Phoebe wondered incredulously.

"What? Hell no, babe. I'm going to get a hotdog!"

"A hotdog?" Chandler challenged.

Joey looked away sheepishly. "Ok, three. And a pretzel." 

Chandler and Monica chuckled. 

"What?!" he demanded and then sulked off, with Phoebe following him. 

"So, ready for the sixth hole?" Chandler questioned.

"Of course!"

"Try not to lose another ball please? The girl at the counter is beginning to think I'm coming on to her. And I don't need a child molesting case on my back."

Monica laughed and shook her head. "I won't lose it. Don't worry, this time I'll get it in. I can feel it."

"Yeah, well just keep it on the green." 

Monica raised her golf club and threatened him jokingly. He backed away and then prompted her to try it. 

"Ok, ok." 

Monica put the purple golf ball down and bent over slightly. She had a grave look of concentration on her face as she attempted to hit the ball through the tunnel. She swung and the ball went flying over the fence of the golf course. 

"Shit!" she screamed, causing an alarmed mother and a curious five-year-old girl to look at her. 

"This is why we shouldn't be around kids," Chandler joked. 

Monica sighed and threw down the club. "Well, I quit." 

"No, no, no don't quit!" Chandler coaxed, "You can do this!" 

Monica quitting was still unsettling to him. No matter what she was giving up on. 

"Ya sure, since I've been doing _so well_ so far." 

"Look, I'll help you." He bent down and placed his bright green golf ball in front of her and then handed her the club. "Ok, now get into position." She bent forward and again aimed for the tunnel. Chandler stood behind her, their bodies touching, as he wrapped his arms around hers and bent forward to match her position. His voice hushed as he spoke up again, "Ok, let's try to swing together." 

"Okay."

"Ready?"

"Yeah." 

Monica moved the golf club backwards, and Chandler held her arms so to restrict her from gaining too much power. 

"And hit it," Chandler whispered into her ear. 

His warm breath and soft voice by her ear sent chills up and down her spine. Suddenly, she was very aware of how close he was to her. She restrained herself from turning around and kissing him hard and passionately on the lips. Instead, she hit the ball and sent it through the tunnel. It stopped only a few inches from the hole. However, neither Monica nor Chandler was concentrating on the ball anymore. They were too distracted by the intimacy they were sharing. Monica turned her head to face Chandler, but didn't move the rest of her body. Staring into Monica's eyes, Chandler found himself lost in her. 

"Meet me behind in the parking lot?" he suggested breathlessly.

"Mmmhmm." 

Chandler smiled and then let go of her. After that, he quickly rushed to their meeting spot, hardly able to contain himself for what was about to come. Monica watched his retreating figure and, once he was out of sight, scanned the area for a moment. Satisfied that no one was paying attention to her, she hurried in the direction that Chandler had gone in just moments ago. 

Monica ended up behind a shed at the back of the parking lot. She looked around for a moment, but didn't see Chandler. Thinking she had the wrong place, she turned to head in another direction. However, she was stopped when she felt a gentle hand upon her shoulder. She turned around and smiled seductively. 

"Hey there." 

"Hi Mon." 

He licked his lips and pushed her gently against the shed. She leaned her head back and closed her eyes, waiting to feel Chandler's lips upon her own. However, his lips barely brushed hers, before a voice was heard. 

"Uhh…what's going on here?" 

Chandler jumped away from Monica and stared wide eyed. "Pheebs, we were just…" 

"Yeah?"

"Uhh…" Chandler stammered, running his hands through his hair nervously.

"Practicing," Monica finished for him.

Chandler gave her a shocked look, though Monica just shrugged helplessly in return.

"Practicing for what? The _sex_ Olympics?!"

"I—we were just—"

"Are you two…dating?"

Monica and Chandler both looked away guiltily.

"Oh my god!"

"Look, it's not like that…"

Phoebe pointed an accusing finger at Chandler. "Don't _you_ have a girlfriend?!" 

"I uhh…" he looked down at the ground shamefully and mumbled, "Yeah, I do."

Phoebe gasped. 

"Look," Monica interrupted, "He's not doing anything wrong."

Phoebe raised her eyebrows in bemusement. 

"Well, okay, maybe he is. But it's cause of me." 

"What?"

"Look, Chandler and I…we have these feelings for each other."

"So why don't you two date for real?"

"Because I just—I can't deal with that right now."

"Why not?"

"I just—can't."

"So Chandler's cheating on his girlfriend for you?"

"Yeah, in a nutshell."

"Well Chandler, why don't you just break up with her?"

Chandler shrugged and turned towards Monica. "She doesn't want me to."

"Wha—this is insane! Why not?"

"Well, I couldn't ask him to do that…I mean there could be something between them."

"He's cheating on her with you and you think that things could work out?"

Monica shrugged. "Yeah."

Phoebe gave her an incredulous look, but prodded no further. "I think I'll just leave you two to practice more for the _Olympics_." She began to leave but then stopped suddenly and turned to face them again. "Oh and take it from me, if you're gonna cheat on someone, don't do it in public." She then winked and walked away. 

Monica turned to Chandler, eyeing each other, slightly dazed. 

"I uhh…"

"Do you think she's gonna tell Jill?!" Chandler panicked.

"I doubt she would rat out her two best friends to a woman she can barely stand.

"Yeah you're right," Chandler paused, "She can barely stand Jill?"

"Sweetie…I was putting it nicely."

Chandler chuckled in response but stopped when Monica brushed his cheek with her thumb. 

"I—I think we should get back."

"Yeah," Monica conceded, trying to hide her disappointment.

Chandler smiled apologetically and headed back to the golf course. He didn't know about her feelings, but he certainly couldn't do anything at the scene of the crime. He had already felt guilty, but Phoebe's shocked questioning had only made that emotion even more of a reality for him. 

*~*~*~*

That night, Chandler was sitting in Central Perk, sipping his coffee and reading a People magazine. He was so engrossed in the story about a woman who almost died from breast cancer that he didn't notice when Phoebe sat down next to him. 

"Hey, whatcha reading?"

Chandler jumped and threw the magazine down on the table. "Uhh…just about uhh…"

"By the tears in your eyes, I can tell you were reading one of those real life stories again."

Chandler looked away sheepishly. 

"It's sweet?"

"Really?"

Phoebe forced a smile onto her face. "Sure."

"Thanks…"

He went back to reading, while Phoebe studied her mug nervously. 

"So, uhh…Chandler?"

He looked up, sensing her nervous demeanor and immediately catching on to the reason.

"Look Pheebs, I'd rather not talk about it."

"I know, it's just…okay, fine."

"Okay." 

Phoebe continued to stare at Chandler nervously. After attempting to read for a minute, he threw down the magazine in frustration.

"I can't read with you staring at me!"

"Why not? It's not like you're peeing. Which, by the way, I don't understand that either…"

Chandler rolled his eyes and turned to face her. "So, what is it that you want?"

"Well, it's just…with this Monica stuff…"

"Yeah?"

"I think you're making a big mistake."

"Pheebs--" 

"Look, you don't have to listen to me, but I just need to say this, okay?"

"O—okay."

"Okay." She paused to gather her thoughts. "The thing is…I think…you and Monica…well…you guys have different ideas about your umm…relation—ship type thing…"

"What are you talking about?"

"Well, I was thinking about it…and haven't you ever questioned why she would want you to be with a girlfriend _in addition_ to her? I mean I know that if I were a girl sleeping with a guy, I wouldn't want him with another girl."

"But—"

"Even if I'm not technically dating him." 

"So…what are you trying to say?"

"I'm trying to say that I think you need to backup and reexamine what's going on with you and Monica. I have a feeling that you're carrying around more than she is." 

"But—"

"Come on Chandler, open your eyes! We've all been skeptical of Monica ever since she came back. You're the only one who's been too blind to see it!"

"What are you talking about?!"

"She comes back here and she just expects everything to revolve around her!"

"That's not true!"

"Come on Chandler, take off that blindfold she's covered your eyes with!" 

Chandler sat back and began to ponder Phoebe's words. She did have a point. He had wondered why Monica would want him to be with another woman, too. But he had just brushed it off, and held on to the hope that one day soon, Monica would tell him she was ready for more. That he could swoop her off her feet and take away all of her pain. Be her knight in shinning armor. Then she would fall for him, just as he had so long ago fallen for her. But was that all just an untouchable dream? 

"It's just," Phoebe continued, "I think she's using you."

"Using me?" 

Out of all the things he thought about Monica sleeping with him, he had never even considered that she could be using him. 

"Yeah, using you." 

"No, okay, no! She's not!"

"Come on Chandler! She is! Look—it just all adds up. She just wants someone to feed her growing hunger! And she found it in you! The unsuspecting, caring guy. She knows that she can rely on you not to tell anyone because you're so caring and charming, but she also knows that she can get you to do whatever she needs because you have these feelings for her. She's manipulating you for her own personal use," Phoebe picked up his magazine and began to bang it for emphasis, "Then, when she finds a guy to replace you, she'll toss you aside like this magazine!" She threw the magazine aside and watched as his eyes followed it through the air. "Chandler, I know you don't want to hear this, but you have to take off that blindfold and see the real Monica!"

"But…she wouldn't do that…" 

"No, the old Monica wouldn't do that. The one who cared about us. But this new Monica…she's different. She's been hardened against sentiment. I would stay away from her, Chandler. And I'm telling you this because I care about you. I don't want to see you get hurt again. You won't listen to us when we tell you to break up with Jill because she's using you, but at least you can see it, too. I just don't want you to be unsuspecting when she gives you the walking papers."

"I—I—"

"Just think about it. Be aware of it." 

Chandler nodded, his heart aching. Maybe Phoebe was right. How could he have not seen the warning signs? Phoebe moved over and hugged him tightly. He sighed and closed his eyes, willing the tears not to fall. He shouldn't have gotten so attached to Monica. He had told himself not to, and yet, here he was, with his heart in harm's way. And the only person he thought would protect his heart and eventually help it heal was the one person who was shattering his already broken heart into a million other pieces. 

"Wh—what should I do?"

"End it with her…"

"I—"

"Just think about it for a bit?"

"Yeah," he answered distractedly, "Okay."

Ok, I swear it gets better...just stick with me. And I'm not trying to make Monica in a bad guy…u'll see, okay? Lol. Leave a review cuz Chuck's getting awfully close to my compooper.;-) **HAPPY BIRTHDAY YEN!! **EEEE!!****


	10. Is It Really Over?

**Between Us**~Chapter 10~**Is it really over?**

_Well, Yen told me to 'be fun' in this a/n so wow loadsa pressure here! Umm…I could juggle for u! *hums circus tune and juggles watermelons, but watermelons all falls on her head and gives her a concussion*_  _Hmm…perhaps that wasn't such a good idea, ey? Hmm…what else can I do? *does cartwheel but crashes into the sofa and bruises her ribs* Okay, obviously not gymnastics. *pats Julie* ahh there we go! *continues to pat Julie till Julie gets pissed off, goes shady, and punches her in the face* God damnit Julie…err shady! *sighs* all right, I give up.  *pinches yen's little finger that doesn't havta pee* MEEEEOW! There we go. This is fun! Well, for me. Not you guys just listening to me…or Yen getting pinched. Muwhahahahaha! HA! Oh, and, in case u were wondering, Jamie is not getting a mention in this a/n b/c of what she said in her last review. And I quote…"__*sighs* you can't do anything right, can you?" You're EVIL! I take back my retracted statements! Put **that **in your pipe and **smoke **it!! Don't worry, I still love you cuz you're **my **sexy bitch! (I'm not wrong) Anywhosers, please review! Only one more chapter (after this one) left! How exciting, yet depressing? _

**Disclaimer: **Let's see, I own Yen's little finger…and it still doesn't havta pee. Otherwise, I own nothing. Nope, not even the characters in this story. I know, I thought I owned them, too! It's disappointing, really.

**This chapter is dedicated to Lyss (aka Al, apparently…according to the monkeys) in honor of her birthday! (may 9th) Hope you enjoyed it! Hmm…I think MY birthday's next! A-whoo-hoo! DO I get to dedicate a chapter to myself? Would that be conceited? *coughs* Someone else should do it for me *coughs* HAPPY BIRTHDAY AL! **

That night, Chandler returned to his apartment and sighed when he saw Monica sitting in the dark, watching a movie. He had decided to end things with her, just as Phoebe had suggested. The more he thought about it, the more Phoebe's advice had made sense to him. Monica was just using him. It was hard to believe, but Monica was doing the same thing that everyone else had done to him in the past. Well, this time he wasn't going to play the fool. This time _he_ was going to be the one to end it before it got out of hand for him. Monica felt his eyes watching her and looked up unsuspectingly.

"Hey there."

"Hi."

Monica got up and walked over to him. She moved her fingertips up his chest, soliciting no response from Chandler. She moved closer to him and began to suck on his lip. Still, he gave her no response. She looked up at him with questioning eyes.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"It seems like something's wrong."

"No, nothing's wrong, okay?!"

"If you're sure…"

Chandler's voice softened dramatically, "No, I'm not sure."

"What is it?"

Monica reached her arms up, wrapping them around his neck. He stayed in that position for a moment before shrugging away from her loose embrace. 

"It's you."

"What?"

"I can't keep doing this!"

"Doing what?"

"Come on, Mon, don't play dumb. This little game we have going on here. You want me, I want you, we have sex, then things go back to normal."

"Wh—"

"Maybe that's enough for you, but it isn't for me—not anymore."

"What do you want from me then?"

He licked his lips and looked into her eyes. "I want you."

Monica broke away from his gaze. "I don't think I can—not yet."

"Well then," Chandler took a deep breath, preparing them both for the dreaded words, "This can't happen anymore."

Monica nodded sadly. "If that's the way you feel…then there's nothing I can do about it." 

She looked up at him pleadingly once more, but this time, he hastily removed his glance from hers. He wasn't going to fall into her trap once again. Chandler kissed her softly on the lips, cherishing their softness against his own. 

"Come back when you're ready for a relationship," Chandler walked over to the door, but then turned around and added, "And we'll see where I am then."

Monica nodded and blinked back tears. Chandler could see that she was on the verge of crying. He had to get out. He knew that if he saw the pain he had caused her, he would never let her go. He had to get out now before she hurt him even more. He gave her one last, regretful look and walked out the door, wondering if he would ever get the chance to touch her lovingly again. 

*~*~*~*

A week had passed since Chandler backed out on their deal. Sure, they still lived together and joked around like they normally did, but the atmosphere was different. The sunny ambience of affection had been replaced by a murky feeling of habit. They joked and talked, but it was only in order to make light of the situation. In reality, things were awkward. Maybe, on the surface, it seemed normal, but both knew that their relationship was different. There used to be an easiness about it that was now being forced. To top that all off, Chandler felt it was his fault that things had become so tense between them. Therefore, he came up with any excuse to stay away from Monica. Most of the time, it was in order to spend more time with Jill. After all, if he had chosen Jill over his "relationship" with Monica, then he should at least acknowledge her presence in his life again.

That evening was a warm and breezy one, and Jill suggested that, due to the nice weather, they walk home from the restaurant instead of taking a cab. Chandler obliged, not wanting to start yet another argument. Besides, it was a nice mid-spring evening. A little walk couldn't do him any harm. They strolled in silence, until they passed an upscale jewelry store. Jill stopped to eye a necklace in the window.

"Wow," she gasped, "It's beautiful." 

Chandler joined her gaze as they looked at the opal set on a white gold backing, connected to a golden chain, that sat flawlessly behind glass. 

"It _is_ beautiful." Chandler stuck his hand in his pocket and fiddled with the brown leather of his wallet. "You want it?"

"What?"

Chandler smiled slightly. "You want it?"

"Are you serious?" 

"Yeah." 

Jill smiled, eyes dancing with excitement. "You would get that for me?" 

"Sure."

Jill jumped up and kissed Chandler passionately on the lips. "Thank you."

Chandler nodded and grinned. Usually when he pleased Jill, he felt proud of himself, for that didn't happen often. However, this time, it barely impacted him. He wished that it was Monica that was getting so excited over something he had done for her. Chandler shut his eyes tightly for a moment, trying to forget Monica. He had to get on with his life. He followed as Jill entered the store, giddy with childish delight. He went to the counter and gave in his credit card. Once they bought the necklace, Jill handed it to him. He caressed it softly, thinking about what this purchase meant. He was truly giving up on Monica. This time it was about himself and Jill. He slid the necklace around her and clasped it. After that, he kissed her neck softly. She smiled at him and they walked back to his apartment, hand in hand. 

*~*~*~*

          Meanwhile, Monica sat in her and Chandler's apartment, watching a movie. Lately, she couldn't concentrate on anything, aside from Chandler. What had brought on his sudden change of heart? Hadn't he told her he would wait for her? _I guess he's just fed up with me. I shouldn't have thought that he would've been any different the rest of them. _She grabbed a container of vanilla ice cream and poured chocolate syrup over the ice cream greedily. She set the container down on the counter and watched distantly as the syrup began to cover up the whiteness of the ice cream. Soon enough, there were only small patches of vanilla visible through the dark chocolate blanket. Satisfied, Monica grabbed a spoonful and shoved it in her mouth greedily. She swallowed the ice cream, but was callous to the cold and sweet taste. She stood still for a moment and then pushed the ice cream into the sink angrily, watching it melt into the drain. Eating food she couldn't even appreciate wasn't going to do anything to quell her confusing feelings. Part of her wanted to run up to Chandler and beg him to take her back in his arms. However, the more fearful side told her to keep her distance. He would just hurt her like everyone else had. After all, hadn't he promised her to stay, but then, all too suddenly, packed up and left? What made it even more complicated was that she realized that perhaps she was guilty of the same offense. 

          Monica jumped, startled, as the door opened. She looked up, just in time to see Chandler with his arms around Jill, smiling faintly and whispering words of affection in her ear. She heard Jill's flirtatious giggles and cringed inwardly. Neither looked up at her, though. Instead, still locked in a tight embrace, they headed to Chandler's bedroom and shut the door. Monica stared at the door for a few moments, wondering if Chandler had noticed her. Was he just trying to get back at her for whatever it was she had done to make him give up hope on her? Or maybe he had found what he was looking from Monica in Jill, after all. Filled with intense jealously, Monica grabbed her laundry basket and headed out the door. Anything to get away from the soft voices and moans she heard coming from Chandler's bedroom. 

          Chandler, on the other hand, had indeed noticed Monica sitting there. He automatically felt badly for flaunting his relationship, but what else could he do? She didn't want a relationship; that wasn't his fault. If she was jealous, then she had no right to be. He had offered her even more attention and affection. Yet, Monica had backed away from him. Instead, Chandler began to trail kisses down Jill's neck, forcing himself not to compare her skin to Monica's silky smoothness. Her hands roamed his back, and then meandered to his front, unbuttoning his light blue shirt and throwing it to the floor. Chandler forced himself to remove the thoughts of his and Monica's impatience on their first night together, and to focus on the different woman underneath him, instead. Chandler removed her black dress and underwear, and stared at her body, attempting to arouse himself at the sight of her bare body and not the memory of Monica's luxurious curves. He steadied himself above her as she removed the remainder of his clothes. She then slid out from under him, smiled teasingly at him, and broke the silence in a seductive tone.

"I just wanna thank you for the gift."

Chandler plopped down on his back and Jill moved down towards his hips, throwing the comforter off the bed as she slid her body down his. Chandler licked his lips in anticipation and pushed out thoughts of his lost chances as he concentrated on the pleasure that was about to bestowed upon him. He felt Jill's hot, moist breath on him and closed his eyes. However, after a few moments, he noticed that she wasn't in the same position anymore. Chandler's eyes shot open in alarm, just in time to see Jill's eyes widen in horror.

"What's this?!" Jill demanded.

"What's what?" 

Chandler was completely baffled. How did she go from completely sensual to utterly fuming? 

"This!" she screamed and flung a pastel flowered bra onto Chandler's bare chest. 

"I--uhh…where did that come from?"

"It was under your sheets," she stared at him, green eyes fuming with contempt, "I can't believe you, Chandler Bing!" 

"I--I…"

"What?! What could you possibly have to say to make anything better?!"

He looked away guiltily. "I was in love."

"Yeah, well, so was I." 

"You totally ignored me!"

"Well, maybe things weren't always so great between us, but I thought we were working them out.

"We can!"

"No. Things can never be worked out with a cheater. And maybe sometimes I didn't pay attention to you, but I never cheated on you!" She gave him one last cold look and then slapped him hard across the face. "I never want to see you _ever _again!" 

Chandler touched his freshly bruised cheek gingerly and turned away. He listening to the rustling around him as Jill hastily dressed, threw opened his bedroom door, and then slammed it shut again.

          Jill hastily made her way across the living room, but was stopped by Monica entering the apartment, just as she was attempting to leave. Monica was shocked to see Jill on the other side of the door. Then, she noticed the anger that was radiating from the woman in front of her. 

"What's wrong?" 

"Chandler's what's wrong," she mumbled and then left the apartment.

Monica scrunched her forehead in confusion. Was he sick or injured? Worried about his health, Monica knocked timidly on his door. Upon hearing no answer from within, Monica pushed open the door and entered.

"Chandler I just saw Jill and--"

She froze when she noticed Chandler, sitting on the side of his bed, conflicted, naked, and aroused. 

"Oh my god, Chandler. I--" she turned away sharply, and was about to head out the door, when she was stopped by Chandler's voice.

"Wait!"

She swallowed nervously and turned her body around, though she kept her eyes focused on anything but him. Still, she felt herself blushing profusely from the situation she had found herself in. 

"You did this to me."

"What?"

Chandler grabbed the recently discovered bra and tossed it at her. Monica's eyes widened in horror.

"I--"

"Guess I should change my sheets more often, huh?"

"Oh my god! I'm…I'm so sorry. If there's anything I can do…"

"Yeah, actually there is something you could do," Chandler informed her in an eerily unfamiliar voice.

Monica took in a shaky breath. "What's that?" 

He motioned for her to come closer to him. She looked into his eyes and saw a look that she had never seen on Chandler's face before. His eyes were like burning blue flames, fiery with both anger and regret. After a moment's hesitation, she fearfully obliged to Chandler's silent request. He grabbed Monica by the wrists and pushed her down semi-violently onto the bed. Monica held in the whimper that was threatening to escape from her mouth as he threw off her shirt and began to suck hard on her nipples. She had never seen this side of Chandler before, and it took every ounce of control she had not to run away from his demanding assaults. His tongue found its way into her mouth, seeming to request something from her that she didn't have the ability to give up. Monica's body fell limp as Chandler continued to explore her roughly. Just as he had gotten into position to enter her, he rolled off of her and collected his clothes quickly. Monica stared at him blankly--things were happening all too quickly for her to register what was going on. After a minute, he was fully dressed. Finding her clothes on the floor, he flung them at her and, before Monica had the change to realize it, he had fled their apartment. 

_Wha…wha…what are u doing with that knife? Put it down, Chuck, put it down! I…I know I said u could kill Chandler, but I'm not gonna let u. No, don't kill me! Kill Yen instead. Or, or Lyss, yeah Lyss! It could be my b-day gift to her! No, no kill Yen. She's too Yennish for me. *watches as Chuck gets on plane to Yen's uhh…state* Phew. Umm…Yen…u might wanna watch ur back…and front, too… Ok, even though Chuck is gone, he still could come back so REVIEW! *mwuah* And if u get a change, check out my new fic…Tainted Dreams cuz that would be perfection! Hehehe (what? It's not conceited to talk up my own fic, is it? Woops if it is…) _


	11. Not Just Between Us

**Between Us**~Chapter 11**~Not Just Between Us**

_Ya know what's really cool? Well, I'm really quiet in school cuz I hate everyone and everyone hates me…yeah no that's not true, but I never feel really comfortable at school ever since I switched last year…and it's really cool when I say something really deep and they all are amazed. Like, they know I (used to) get good grades :(, but they think I have like no substance. Yeah, nothing really happened to make me feel like that recently, but I'm just saying I love it. I think that's the main reason I keep quiet…to be mysterious, ya know? Cuz I don't shut up to my friends lol. Ok, anyway, totally off topic… OMG this is it…the **last **chapter!! Excited? I know u are! You guys have been **awesome**! This is the first fic that has broken 100 reviews without being over 10 chapters! That's so awesome to me! Lol u guys rule! Thanks for being so inspiring. This chapter is dedicated to everyone who has reviewed this fic and hopefully will review this last chapter. Please, please tell me what u think. It's so helpful. I love u all! (lol can I say it once more? I LOVE U!) _

**Disclaimer: **For the last fricken time, I don't own them! I only own Yen…who is my update buddy again btw! (well, she was my update buddy for my other fic before, but that's ok) so u should all check out her new fic, **At First Sight** (not love is blind or at frist sight lol oops),  because it's **totally awesome**! (true dat, true dat) Yen, I love u more than a monkey eating a cabbage in the Amazon! *pinches yen's lil finger* Hey, I want my pink underwear back!  

            Tears streamed down Monica's cheeks as she rocked her body back and forth nervously. Ross was on her right side while Rachel was on her left, as they sat on the couch in her and Chandler's apartment.  Ross moved in and hugged her closely as Rachel rubbed her knee soothingly. 

"Mon," Rachel soothed, "I'm sure he's okay."

"But he just left and," she paused to hiccup and then continued desperately, "He was so upset 'cause Jill dumped him and he ran out of the apartment and I--"

"Shh," Ross added as he drew Monica closer to him, "Chandler can take care of himself."

"I know, it's just he was so upset and I'm afraid he wasn't thinking straight and might do something stupid. Something that he might regret…that we all might regret."

"Now Monica," Rachel continued, "Joey and Phoebe are looking for him, okay? You just have to calm down and wait patiently, okay?"

"I'll--I'll try," Monica conceded timidly as her body convulsed with a repressed hiccup. 

"Now, I'm just going to call our neighbors and check up on the kids, okay Mon?"

She nodded and sniffed. Ross kissed her hair, let go of her small frame, and went over to the kitchen counter, where the phone was lying. Rachel moved closer on the couch and squeezed Monica's hand as her body trembled slightly with another silent hiccup. 

"You want some water?" 

Monica nodded and watched as Rachel rose to get her a bottle of spring water from the refrigerator. Feeling vulnerable and alone on the empty couch, tears began to once again fall from Monica's eyes. Even though she knew that Rachel was only a few feet away, Chandler's absence left her feeling completely void and empty. Upon noticing her tears, Rachel rushed back, bottle in her hand. She handed it to Monica and then grabbed her hand once more. 

"Don't worry sweetie, everything's going to be okay."

Monica nodded and hiccupped again before taking a small sip of water. She felt the cold, clear water running down her throat and settling within her. Immediately after she drank, she felt so sick with fear that she was about to throw up. She swallowed hard and squeezed her eyes shut. Once her eyes were shut, however, she began to see images of Chandler, hurt and angry, flood her mind. Then, his eyes shot into her mind like a lightning bolt. They were burning with regret and pain. Suddenly, it was all clear to her. Perhaps he had become impatient with her, but she had never realized just how much she had been asking from him. Chandler, on the other hand, wasn't given the one thing he wanted from her in return—her love. How could she have ever been so selfishly blind to Chandler's feelings? All of a sudden, she began to sob again. However, this time, it was out of sorrow and guilt more than it was of fear for him. What if she had lost him forever? Monica leaned her head on Rachel's shoulder, as Rachel stroked her dark hair gently. Soon, she drifted into a light, fitful slumber. 

          Ten minutes later, Monica was jolted from sleep upon hearing the door open. She sighed sorrowfully when she realized that it was only Ross re-entering the apartment. He had decided to check Central Perk and see if, perhaps, Chandler had found refuge there. His reasoning was that Chandler was right under their noses, but they were too worried and paranoid to realize it. Disappointingly, Ross had been wrong. Joey and Phoebe, on the other hand, had been searching all over the city for over two hours now. It was getting increasingly dark and unsafe for anyone to be out, especially alone, in the city. A half an hour later, Phoebe and Joey returned, empty handed, to her apartment. At that realization, Monica began to cry yet again as she buried her face in her brother's warm shoulder. Phoebe watched Monica heartbrokenly, unable to face Monica. She had, after all, been the one to convince Chandler to end things between them. Then again, perhaps this was just a much-needed eye opener on Monica's part. Phoebe felt Joey's strong arms wrap around her from behind and she rested her head against his chest, physically drained from their long search of the vast city and emotionally drained from her many thoughts and anxieties. 

          By 2 AM, everyone else, aside from Ross, had left the apartment. He and Monica were huddled on the couch, and although in the wrong position to see it, they had the television blaring and the lights out in the background. Anything was better than the nerve-racking silence of waiting fearfully, with no knowledge whatsoever of what was to come. Monica found herself inwardly making promises, in the darkness of the untamable night. But those promises--they were not only to herself, but to Chandler as well. _Chandler, if you come home now, I'll let you love me, _She begged him,_ I'll let you in my life and I'll love you back...no, no, I already love you…I'll just let you know it…allow you to know the depths of my love! You are my life, please, please, come home! _She closed her eyes and rested against her slumbering brother's chest. However, this time, the sweet release of sleep didn't come to her. Instead, after a half an hour lacking in success, she rose from her spot and walked over to the window. She watched the moon glistening in the dark night sky and wondered where, underneath the unflinching watch of that same moon, Chandler was hiding. 

          Suddenly, she was jolted out of her thoughts by the door being forcefully thrown opening. She turned around hopefully and saw a dark figure enter the apartment forcefully.

"Chandler?" she asked expectantly.

Ross, upon hearing the bustle, rose and walked over to Monica. "Hey Chandler," he started gently, "Are you okay?" 

Chandler didn't answer their questioning. Instead, he moved over to the counter and leaned against it. He looked down at his hands that were resting on the white tiles, instead of focusing on the curious eyes above him. It was too much pressure for him to handle. Too many questions he was unfit to answer. 

"Chandler?" Ross tried again.

Chandler looked up, the darkness graciously concealing his tearstained cheeks. 

"What?"

"Where were you!? We've been worried sick!"

Chandler shrugged, hiding behind a façade of callousness. 

Monica, who had drifted a bit behind Ross, began to move closer to him once again. Chandler, noticing this, took in a shaky breath and mustered up enough courage in order to meet her half way. He looked at her, her face visible to him by only the soft light of the moon, in a tense silence. Monica began to tremble as she searched his face anxiously for any clue to his feelings. However, his face was blank, pacifying not a single thought in her curious mind. Chandler's hands began to move closer to hers, and finally grasped them lightly. Their fingers entwined, both completely deaf to everything surrounding them, aside from their own steady breathing. It wasn't until Ross cleared his throat loudly that they shifted their gaze. 

"Chandler, where were you?" he repeated forcefully, "Ya know, we were out there half the night looking for you!"

"You don't have to look for me," Chandler stated calmly, "I can look out for myself." 

"Yes, but when one of your best friend disappears into the dangerous city alone at night and you get a call from your sister, who's sobbing uncontrollably because she's afraid you're hurt, it's hard not to care." 

Chandler kept his eyes focused intently on Ross. "Does Monica really care?" 

"Yeah," she whispered, "A lot."

"Yeah?" he turned back towards her and grasped her hands lightly once again. In a somber tone, he began, "I was thinking a lot when I was out."

"Yeah," Monica wondered breathlessly, "What about?"

"About us. About how I want…no need…more."

Without leaving time for Monica to answer, Chandler leaned in and kissed her sweetly on the lips. 

"Woah, what's going on here?!" Ross demanded. 

He was so confused. One minute his sister was crying that Chandler was depressed since Jill had broken up with him and then, the next moment, he was kissing her! _No doubt a rebound kiss, _he thought angrily as he studied his distraught friend closely. 

Chandler pulled back and they both searched each other's faces intently, neither paying any attention to Ross' protests. 

"I was thinking about us, too."

"You were?"

"Yeah. Look, Chandler, I was being selfish. I wanted both your heart and your body, but was too afraid to give you my heart in return. I was afraid of being hurt again." 

"So am I, Mon! So much! And then I was so confused 'cuz every time you pushed me away, emotionally, my heart cracked just a bit each time." 

"I'm sorry, it's just…I had to push you away. You were giving me everything that I wanted," Monica looked away shamefully, "And it just…seemed too good to not be taken away from me again." 

Chandler put two fingers beneath Monica's chin and lifted her head gently. He then cupped her face softly in his hands, caressing her cheeks lightly with his thumbs. "Mon, I need more than what you were willing to give me before."

"I know."

"I don't want this to be _between us_ anymore! I want it to be between the entire world! I want to be able to declare my love for you from the rooftops and--"

"You really love me?"

Chandler dropped his hands from her face and looked away sheepishly. "Yeah, I do."

"And this isn't just 'cause you broke up with Jill?"

"I've loved you before I even met Jill, Mon! I just didn't realize it. I've loved you ever since the first time our lips touched that night in London…maybe even before that."

"What do you mean," Ross challenged, "In London?!"

Chandler ignored Ross' outburst and looked down at the ground. This time, however, Monica was the one to lift his face in order for him to meet her own gaze. 

"I've felt the same way."

Chandler did a double take. "Re--really?"

Monica nodded and whispered gently, "I love you, too, Chandler."  

Chandler, however, still looked slightly suspicious, so Monica leaned in to place a reassuring kiss on his lips. Chandler timidly wrapped his arms around Monica's waist, but gained more confidence when he felt Monica's tongue enter his mouth. 

          Chandler held Monica in his arms long after they broke the kiss, as warm tears of relief streamed down Monica's flushed face. Chandler placed soft, reassuring kisses on her forehead, then her nose, then her cheeks, kissing away her tears. They leaned in for another kiss, this time their lips locked in a passionate embrace. They jumped back, however, when Ross' voice broke through their much-needed intimacy. 

"What the hell is going on here?!"

"Well, I think," Chandler answered softly, although still looking into Monica's eyes, "Monica and I are in a relationship."

"What?" Ross asked, stunned. 

"No, Chandler's wrong." Chandler threw Monica a panicked look and she smiled teasingly. "I _know _Chandler and I are in a relationship."

Chandler smiled, his stomach churning with excitement. He was finally getting what he had dreamed of for so long. He kissed Monica passionately, his hands cradling her head gently in a loving embrace. Monica broke the kiss and looked up into Chandler's blue eyes, as they danced with excitement and relief in the soft light of the moon. She smiled broadly, unable to keep her excitement from overflowing. It was at that moment when she realized that maybe…just maybe, things would work out for her this time. 

_Ok, that's…it…wow….it feels so weird to say I'm finished a fic. Wow…lol. It just…doesn't happen so often…lol. Thanks again for being such a great…audience (?) and I love u all! Please leave me a final review! Thanks for sticking through till the end. Oh, and Chuck is enjoying his new home in Yen's house…:) Masebee…u're next…muwhahahahahahaha! Bye all!! _


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